sundance adventure(land)

the sundance film festival, that old hipster stand-by, has just wrapped up its annual invasion. as a general rule, i really like sundance and sundance movies, though i find it sort of disconcerting that films with big budgets and major stars count as "indies." i mean, i'm sorry, but if it stars mariah carey's husband, it can't be too under-the-radar. (what would parker posey say?)

all of that aside, i usually try to take as much advantage of sundance as i can, but i was way behind the game this year and it looked like i wouldn't catch a single screening (not one! what would parker posey say?) until emily g. came through with a last-minute and hipster-status-saving offer to see "adventureland."

allow me to sum up.

geeky, curly-haired recent college grad, as a result of family money troubles, is forced to work all summer in a lame (and potentially fatal) amusement park where he falls for a beautiful, complicated co-worker who drinks all the time, hates her parents and for no discernible reason, falls head-over-heels for the aforementioned geeky, curly-haired recent college grad. happily ever after, the end. (what would parker posey say?)

to be clear, i rather enjoyed the film. it had the appropriate degree of adolescent humor (mostly revolving around smoking pot and embarrassing incidents involving the male, um, member), as well as the requisite amount of squishy emotional confession. we laughed, we cried (though not really), and all of that.

but, the more i think about it the more i am bothered by poor, well-meaning "adventureland," for two major reasons.

1. that never happens in real-life. unsalvageable nerd lands bevy of hot women while wearing amusement park uniform? i think not. but, since i watched four episodes in a row of "battlestar galactica" last night, i don't think i am arguing from a point of strength when it comes to realism in entertainment. so i am just going to move on.

2. the thing that really bothers me is that "adventureland" is just one in a recent spate of similar movie plots in which a loveable but generally average nerd unwittingly but successfully woos a totally hot girl (i'm looking at you, michael cera). a heart-warming tale, to be sure, and i want happiness for nerds everywhere as much as the next girl. i would also be lying if i said i didn't have my own little crush on lloyd dobbler and paulie bleeker and the rest.

the problem is that cinema has yet to produce a female alternative to this phenomenon of which i speak. there is no such thing as the nerdy-but-nice-girl-steals-the-jock-from-hot-cheerleaders-with-nothing-but-her-innate-if-usually-obscured-charm sub-genre. for nerdy movie girls to win over the awesome dudes (who are never really that awesome), they have to undergo some major physical transformation, call it the "grease" syndrome, which, i might point out indignantly, always, always, always involves getting rid of their glasses. and so, after shedding her bad clothes and hair, personality and quirky, independent charm (and stylish eyewear), our female protagonists can finally, miraculously win over the big man on campus.

barf.

to wit, from one of the worst offenders in this category, "she's all that":

laney boggs before:



laney boggs after:



now, i don't want this to sound like bespectacled sour grapes. movies are escapist and not real and in movie-land people see each other for who and what they really are and true love conquers all and that is why we go to the movies in the first place. yes, fine. i get it.

but once, just once, it would be nice to see a truly nerdy girl come out the winner, frames and all.

parker posey would rejoice. i am sure of it.