Tuesday, September 16, 2008

i've got soul and you can be my soldier

{editor's note: i have some good news and some bad news. the good news is, through the magic of this here interweb, the killers have caught wind of this here blog post. (swoon! sigh!) the bad news is, they have requested (somewhat unreasonably, if you ask me) that the pictures be taken down until the video is released. because i would kiss any one of them on the lips, i have reluctantly agreed. but, in more good news, the pictures will be back as soon as the video drops, which i believe is happening on sept. 22. in the meantime, my stunning and witty prose is still available for your reading pleasure.}

dear the killers:

(aka: brandon flowers, lead singer/hottie; dave keuning, guitar/vegetarian; mark stoermer, bass/curly hair-conscious; and ronnie vannuci, drums/fan of the ladies)

i just wanted to write a quick note and let you know how much sallee and i enjoyed working on your music video shoot over the weekend.

we were a little panicked when we almost ran out of gas on our way, but luckily we stumbled upon the (literally) hole in the wall gas station (literally) just in time. i bet you passed it, too, but you were probably asleep on the tour bus.

preparing food and snacks for 50 hungry people (sometimes more) was something of a challenge as we have no catering experience, and the facilities were, ahem, less than desirable. (just for the record, RV kitchens are not made for bulk and cooking usually goes better with running water.)

some of your grips were a little mean about our efforts at first (and, by the way, you might want to tell them that nipple rings are kind of gross), but we won over even the crankiest ones by the end. (frankly, your cinematographer was the worst. i don't care if he did shoot "jurassic park.") and it looked like you enjoyed our culinary delights, especially sallee's authentic north carolina barbecue beef, as well, (hope your portobello mushrooms were also delicious, dave!), even if the whole operation was a little more "down home" than usual, as ronnie put it.

i can see why your tour manager said you guys are a 10 on a niceness scale of 1 to 10. ronnie even remembered my name (though my exhortation to put on sunscreen went unheeded), and mark gave us a big "thank you" when he passed us hauling a massive cooler full of water down to the set. i bet mark wouldn't even be mad if he knew that sallee found his guitar pick in the bathroom and we kept it, even when someone came over the radio and asked if anyone had a pick he could use because his went "missing." (we figured someone who could pay $10,000 for one of the original light sabers used in the "star wars" movies could probably afford to buy a new one. but, mark, if you really need it, i'll send it back. i'll just have to take it out of the frame.)

and brandon, we exchanged a few words and i caught you watching us with, was it fascination?, on many ocassions, but you never came over for a proper conversation. i would have initiated something more substantive than passing comments about cookies if i wasn't so intimidated by the "no soliciting the band" rule. and the feathers on your suit jacket. if you had come over, we could have talked about this whole i'm-an-active-mormon-but-i-smoke-and-drink-sometimes thing. i also heard you drop the f-bomb. you can do better than that, flowers! (call me!)

i know it was a long, hot day for everyone (having the set in the middle of the desert, at the bottom of a steep canyon, probably seemed like a good idea at some point, right? just not when you were hiking up and down in polyester leopard print) but i think the video is going to look awesome!

i am guessing all the european tourists who tried to steal our water think so, too. it was totally fun to watch you guys rocking out down there. i just wish i had more pictures of our time together. but, i get it. closed set, celebrity privacy and all that. (though i am pretty sure a couple from florida wearing socks with their sandals got some of your performance on tape before the park ranger shut them down. you might want to watch out for that.)

the thing i am most sad about, though, is that none of you ever got to ride in the helicopter. aaron, the pilot, was so nice to take us on a little spin once the shooting was done, and it was truly unbelievable. sort of like riding a motorcycle in the air. if you get another chance (and you seem like the kind of guys who can make stuff happen) i highly recommend it.

in the meantime, good luck with the rest of your european tour and the new cd and all that. if you're ever in the area and looking for a mean dutch oven cobbler, you know where to find me. (i wrote it in lipstick on the tour bus mirror.) (not really.)

until next time!
(i love you!)


chelle. said...

frances--i'm so jealous.
and by so, i mean exceedingly.

Joelle said...

You have some of the BEST life experiences.

Anonymous said...

Funny story, Brandon Flowers went to my high school for a year or two. I didn't really know him (I was three years younger than him), but I used to think he was really cute. I have a great yearbook photo of him looking like a clean-cut Mormon (which he was at the time).

P.S. I love your blog, and think you could totally make a living off of it.

Susan said...

when are the photos coming up?