... then comes the baby in the baby carriage

i was back in new york this weekend (i know, right? cry a river about my jet-setting life. except really it is more of a bus-setting life, so i still deserve a smidgen of pity, right?). it was another weekend of celebration, this time in honor of this blessed event:





since jane is one of my favorite people i can only assume that her baby is going to be one of the best around, and i am pretty stoked for him to get here.

it was a great lovely shower, the only un-unlovely part being the (rain) shower outside. bad weather meant not much galavanting around the city this time, but i did manage to meet ben and wendell for a cup of tea, hit up the new upper west side apple store with suvi, get a gang of old friends together for dinner and score brunch with ABK in brooklyn, so i didn't do too badly, if i do say so myself.

and i do.

love and marriage

i have not always had the best attitude about weddings (see: the summer wedding hiatus of 2007), but i would like to say this.

few things give me more joy than seeing my friends find spouses who love and appreciate them as much as i love and appreciate them, and as much as i know they deserve to be loved and appreciated.

there is nothing quite so wonderful as seeing someone who has meant so much in my life find someone worthwhile with whom to share the rest of their own life.

and seeing their successes and well-fitting matches gives me hope for my own someday.

such was the case this weekend with the bendheim/orvin union. never before have i seen a more calm or satisfied bride. it was such a pleasure to celebrate such a thing. so much so that the rest of the weekend was really just icing on the (wedding) cake.

we brunched.

saw the coast. (and jane's adorable pregnant belly!)





observed.



rejoiced.



reunited.



ate post-ceremony fish tacos.



rejoiced.



reunited.



caught the bouquet.



ate wedding cake. (which julie and i rather embarassingly had to beg for, having somehow missed the first cake hand-out. and yes, the begging was totally worth it.)

tossed feathers.



and rejoiced a little bit more.

parallelogram

one time, when sarah and i were first called to serve together in the (ward) relief society presidency, we had a meeting with the stake relief society presidency (so many presidencies, so little time!) where they asked us to introduce ourselves so we could all get to know each other a little better.

this is what happened.

sarah: my name is sarah. i am from denver. i have a degree in journalism. i served a mission in japan. now i work for a local non-profit.

me: my name is frances. i am from denver. i have a degree in journalism. i served a mission in japan. now i work for a local newspaper.

pause.

sarah: but i did it all first!

and so it was that we realized we had been living parallel lives all along, which is fine with me because there are few footsteps i would rather follow than sarah's.

so it made perfect sense that when sarah decided to leave her high-powered senior analyst/technical writer position in washington, d.c., she called to see if i was interested. so it made perfect sense that her call came just as i was thinking it might be time for something new. so it made perfect sense that i sent over a resume, went out for an interview, got offered the job and accepted it. so it makes perfect sense that in a little less than a month i will pack up everything and head to a new life.

now you know.

this major change will obviously be a major topic on this (major) blog in the weeks to come, but here are some initial thoughts.

1. if we do not move forward, our lives do not move forward. this means different things for all of us, but it is true for all of us nonetheless. we must change or be changed and i, for one, would rather dictate the circumstances than let them dictate me.

2. that does not mean that change is not scary and hard and it is possible that i will die of a panic attack. but i am going to embrace change anyway.

3. i am truly thrilled for a new chance, a new opportunity, a new adventure, a new challenge, new learning.

4. my heart is also breaking at the thought of leaving behind four years of life and people that i absolutely love. my life in salt lake has blessed me with things i never could have imagined would become a part of me, chief among them some of the nearest and dearest friends i have ever known. i will find good people wherever i go, but no replacements, i am sure.

5. sometimes, when we bring our true desires and efforts before the Lord, He blesses us with exactly the thing we want.

6. i have no idea how i am going to fit all my shoes into my car.

ba-rock my world

{i couldn't have said it better myself}

i spent a lot of time tearing up yesterday. happy tears all around.

i teared up while i watched barack obama's inaugural speech.

i teared up when i read the transcript of it a few hours later.

i teared up thinking about michelle obama holding the lincoln bible.

i teared up thinking of the responsibility we all have to make this country great, or at least to make it better.

i teared up thinking about a historic election, and a historic president, who makes a lot of us want to take that responsibility a lot more seriously.

i teared up (laughing) at the final compilations of bush-isms. (he's right, you know. it is hard to put food on your family.)

i teared up thinking about two little girls who are proud of their daddy.

i teared up wishing i had hit up uncle bob sooner for primo inauguration tickets. (but he looked pretty snazzy in that white scarf, eh?)

so, needless to say, i've been pretty happy with the way things have gone down so far, presidentially speaking, and, though it's not an easy row to hoe, i have a lot of optimism about things to come.

there is just one thing missing. if only there was some way i could express how i feel through stylish and quirky footwear.

oh wait.

there is.

dear gas prices

we need to talk.

i have tried my hardest to make this relationship work. i really, really have. but, i'm not going to lie, your mixed signals are making it a little hard. frankly, i've had just about all i can take.

i heard the rumors but hoped they weren't true. and then i saw it for myself. first you were $1.39 in the morning. then it was $1.59 by the time i was coming home from work. i mean, really, can't you just commit? it's like i don't even know you anymore.

i'm not saying it's over, gas prices. i think we can both agree that things aren't nearly as bad between us as they were in the dark days of almost $4 a gallon every time we wanted to spend time together. but, it looks like we still have some things to work through. you know?

i think you do.

xo,
frances

p.s. this is for everybody. don't forget about the delta-naming contest going on below. the deadline has been extended (it's a pretty fluid thing) and i think you're all going to want a piece of the awesome prize i am cooking up. plus, it will hurt my feelings if you don't play. i would hate to see you in the same position as gas prices.

yes we can. yes we did.

amen.

best. announcement. ever.

i think i have made my general aversion to wedding festivities pretty well-known out here on the interweb, but if you send me an announcement that makes me laugh out loud (with you, not at you), you can count on me coming for sure. which is why i will be wedding lunching today with mr. and mrs. darrell and audrey logan/smith. (in addition, of course, to the fact that audrey is a dear and dearly loved friend with whom i am happy and honored to celebrate.)

and i quote:

Dr. Stephen & Jan Smith
are relieved to announce that their daughter
Audrey Elizabeth Smith
has finally succumbed to societal pressures
and will marry
Darrell E. Logan
on October 18, 2008
at the Salt Lake Temple.

like i said. best. announcement. ever.

(and, of course, congratulations to the happy, and hilarious, couple!)

birthday, birthday, welcome to earth day!

have i mentioned it was my birthday? because it was! and i threw myself a party, because that is the way i like to roll. (actually, ck and briana did all the hard work. thanks a million, girls!)

now, i am willing to throw myself parties, but i am not that into taking pictures of myself at parties i am throwing for myself because that just seems, well, a little too self-indulgent. (though sometimes i really do wonder, is there such a thing?) luckily, professional photographer dallas was on hand and offered to document for me. some people snuck out before their presence could be recorded, but i think this is a fairly good representation of the good times had by all. the only thing missing is a shot of the gallons and gallons of ice cream we ate. and no, i do not exagerrate.




{don't ask what these two were doing out by the car later in the night}











{ryan came all the way from new york city to help me celebrate! and miaken came all the way from the ghetto}











{joel is doing the "touchdown" sign. as he pointed out, twenty-seven is a football score, after all}





{heather brought me beautiful flowers}



{and emily taught me how to tie a stylish summer scarf}





{self portrait}


{birthday buddies. dallas had one the day before. the only sad news? i feel like i have a double chin and half-closed eyes in all these pictures. i really am getting old...}

live, from the ywca!

my board hosted our every-other-monthly (is there a word for that?) "successitea" brown bag discussion at the ywca yesterday, and, thanks to the media contacts of board member julia, the television news came! a discussion topic of "women in office: why it matters" a few days after the announcement of a female vice presidential candidate probably didn't hurt either.

anyway, check us out!

after months of low attendance at these events, it was great to have a full house and a solid discussion about what women can and should be doing in the political process. and, coming a little closer to our individual dreams of world domination and international celebrity (is it just me?) was icing on the cake. join us next time, won't you?

timeout

a few days ago briana and i went to a workshop about time management. we were late. so that should give you a pretty good idea of how good i am at managing my time.

anyway.

i wasn't sure what to expect, but i thought it might be something along the lines of: don't overschedule yourself, don't agree to things you know you can't do, get enough sleep, take "me time," wear a watch, buy a planner, "be your word" and maybe some other stuff that i couldn't even think of because i am such a bad time manager to begin with.

instead, the presenter (excuse me, life coach) took us through this really cool exercise of identifying our core values. if you know your core values, she said, you instantly become a better time manager, because the only things that are worth doing are things that line up with the values that are most important to you. if something doesn't line up with your guiding values, you can just dismiss it out of hand (though exceptions can and should be made for vampire romance novels).

so, first we all wrote down an example of someone, someone we know or someone we don't, who stood up for their values even when it was inconvenient and unpopular. martin luther king, jr., the suffragettes and my mom were some examples. (my example was the time when my mom was approached by some people to select a family to receive a secret santa christmas, and then the people didn't want to help the family she chose because the people felt like that family had brought their misfortune on themselves. i don't mean to judge, but those people were really, really lame. my mom, who is not lame, did christmas for this family herself.)

then we all wrote down what a value or a value system is to us. something that guides you? something that is imposed on you by family, or a religion? a responsibility? a privilege? something for you or something for other people? something static or dynamic? something that affects every part of your life or just some parts? something that you follow all the time or just when you want to? how you define it influences how you follow it, so defining it is pretty important. we talk about "values" a lot, and it was nice to put my own meaning on it, something i could get my head around and make some sense of. for inquiring minds, i define my value system as something that helps me accomplish the things that matter most to me, but also something that focuses me outward, towards helping other people.

next we flipped our little worksheets over. there was an enormous list of values on the other side. the presenter (life coach) told us to go through and circle every single one that stuck out to us. there were all kinds of things to circle: endeavor, be amused, educate, uplift, originality, assemble, imagination, set standards, adept, tenderness, part of a community, energize, move forward, in touch with, to experience, and the list goes on. there were also lots of things i didn't want to circle: risk, danger, govern, rule, preeminence, prevail, score, energy flow, sensations, attractiveness, religious. (no one panic. i did circle relate with God, honoring, devoting and holy, which i think are all better than just plain religious anyway.)

from there, we narrowed our long list of circles down to ten: influence, set standards, serve, improve, be connected, family, part of community, learn and accomplish were mine.

then it got hard. we had to narrow our ten down to three. from those ten things, which were the absolutely, indisputably most important things that i couldn't live without? i finally settled on: learn, improve and be connected.

and i feel pretty good about it.

ultimately, i feel like those things encompass all the other values i circled originally. i can be connected to my family, my community, God. i can improve myself and the situation of others by serving, honoring, being accepting. i can learn by experiencing, using my imagination, embracing the unknown.

i also learned that sometimes the end is not as important as the means. accomplish, for example, was one of my ten values, and i think it's pretty important. a lot of the work i have done in my life has been to accomplish something: finishing college, a mission, meeting a deadline, crossing off goals. i like to accomplish. but the things required to accomplish are, ultimately, more important to me than the accomplishing itself. i didn't know that before.

all in all, a most enlightening and well spent evening, and i highly recommend trying it. there is something really empowering about knowing what is most important to you, knowing why you act the way you do and make the choices you make. it certainly has the potential to remove the need to justify every decision we make, which can only be a good thing if you ask me.

the only trouble?

"none of these really include an addiction to vampire romance," i whispered to briana.

"that's why you need to add this one," she said.

and then she circled, "be hedonistic."

what a friend.

p.s. this and other empowerment sessions are free to you if you become a member of the ywca. (i know you wanna!) for more information, go here.

perfect end to a perfect day (cliffhanger resolved)

the trouble with a cliffhanger ending, i have learned, is that it does put a lot of pressure on the next post. i mean, with all that anticipation i feel like i should be announcing that i met jake gyllenhaal in a gas station in vernal and now we're engaged, or something equally magnificent. but really the perfect end to our perfect day was that, on our way home, we stumbled upon the most perfect small town parade in duschene.

disappointed? well, it was no jake gyllenhaal, but it was still pretty much the best thing ever. it was everything you might expect from a small town parade, including a high school band, pretty girls on pretty horses and children who probably can't even walk driving four-wheel vehicles.








there was also candy! so much candy! just flying through the air. we did pretty well, but not as well as the kids next to us. there were pretty aggressive, and if you check out their stash, i think you'll agree that it paid off.







but, did the fun end there? of course not! we learned from the people standing next to us that it wasn't just a parade. there was a fair! a real life, small town fair. which is my favorite kind. it was cousin bucky's first fair, so i think you can imagine how excited he was.







after i completely mortified myself dancing along to the music of some completely lame and untalented band, we settled down to a delicious dinner of fair food, one of my favorite kinds of food, and luckily one of heidi's, too. even heather broke her no-wheat, no-sugar, no-dairy rule (you kind of have to with fair food) and joined us.

we started with dutch over potatoes...









... then a red dog, which was really just an oddly-colored hot dog (don't ask, don't tell, right?)...



and finished it off with funnel cake, the ultimate in small town fair indulgence.





so, not jake gyllenhaal down on one knee (maybe if i keep typing it, it will come true), but not a bad perfect ending, wouldn't you say?