life, elevated

i drove to denver yesterday and cried all the way from cheyenne to my parents' driveway.

because, after a whirlwind week of packing and seeing friends and finishing work and selling furniture and having parties and filling my car to the absolute brim, there on the empty road it finally sank in: i don't live in utah anymore.

(though i have yet to inform the united states postal service of that fact. i better get on that.)

that's right. the chapter of my wonderful life in utah, filled with some of the best people and best times i have known, has come to a close. can you blame me for shedding a tear? (the answer is no, no you cannot.)

when i first moved to salt lake, i told myself i would stay as long as i wanted to, and not worry constantly about when it was time to go, but just trust that when the time came, i would know it. that i could feel it. 

and so i stayed for longer than i ever thought i would, and had a happier life than i ever thought i could. and then the time came. and i knew it. and i felt it.

and it's still hard.

hard because i will miss letting myself in elliott's back door, and holly and evan stopping by with baby kyle and FOE with the girls.

hard because i will miss riding my bike to work, and up memory grove, and out to saltair and around liberty park.

hard because i will miss a ward where everyone knows me well enough that i can use "battlestar galactica" references and no one thinks i am weird (right?) and i will miss a workplace where we can laugh all day long together about quotes from "the office."

hard because i will miss crawling into bed with briana and brushing my teeth with ck and going to the d.i. with sallee. 

hard because i will miss lunch with my grandma, the hot tub with uncle john, visits with kathryn and keri and family gathering.

hard because i have no idea what lies ahead, but i love everything that lies behind. 

i believe in mourning. but i also believe in doing hard things. and i believe that my life in d.c. will hold just as many unexpected and happy surprises as my life in utah did. i have plenty to look forward to.

por ejemplo.

cheaper international flights! H&M! a bus to new york and a train to boston! new relatives close by! free museums! cherry blossoms! possible obama sightings! the metro! new/old friends! an excuse to buy new work clothes!

not to mention an exciting new job that will take me in exciting new directions, teach me exciting new skills and get me into the pentagon. 

not to mention knowing that, even though it is hard, my life is moving bravely forward.

not to mention that all my favorite people are going to come and visit me.

so really, it will be like i never left.