happy halloween!

i refused to dress up this year (refused and also, there just don't seem to be very many adult costume options that don't involve looking like a prostitute, which, despite what the photo in the previous post might indicate, is not my thing). i also turned off all the lights and pretended i wasn't home when the neighborhood kids came by (mostly because i forgot to get candy, not because i don't like kids). but, sallee and i did carve pumpkins the other night, which seems like an adequate celebration to me.

i voted.

to avoid a partisan smack-down in the comments section, i will refrain from telling you who for, but i will give you a little hint and say that i have not voted for the winning candidate in the past two elections, but i have my fingers very tightly crossed to be on the winning (and historic!) side this time around. though the license plate holder on the car parked next to me at the city government building, which read, "in case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned" makes me very, very nervous.

date local

i would not necessarily consider myself an environmentalist, despite the moral superiority i feel about things like riding my bike to work, buying local eggs or wearing pressed bamboo accessories (sustainable earrings! who knew?), but i am always glad to be on the same side as the environment, especially when it's the side i've been on all along. which is why i was so happy to find this recent article about how long-distance dating is killing the planet.

you see, i have, for some time now, been something of a naysayer when it comes to long-distance relationships. i think the magic of relationships comes in melding two lives into one, in the togetherness found in mundane things like making dinner and cleaning the house, in the instant accessibility to the comfort of a person who is less than a plane ride away.

now, before someone pulls that "don't knock it 'til you've tried it" bull-oney on me, let me say that i have, in fact, been there and done that, and, while it obviously didn't work for me, i don't think all long-distance relationships are doomed to failure. and i know that you can't help who you fall in love with and true love has no borders and blah, blah, blah.

but i still think long-distance relationships add time and work and confusion to something that already takes a lot of time, work and is confusing enough when you live next-door, and i have basically refused to entertain the idea of a long-distance relationship (unless jake gyllenhaal comes a-knockin') for quite some time now.

and not that i wasn't perfectly happy to stand that ground all by my lonesome, but it does feel pretty good to have the whole earth behind me on this one.

wanna be a winner?

i'm not sure if i've mentioned this before, but i write a blog for the best dress company of all time, shabby apple. i have mentioned it? good. then we're all on the same page. (shameless self-promotion? check.)

the current good news about the shabby apple blog is that there is a contest on, and you could be a big-time winner! i mean a big-time winner. and, entering is not hard at all. and have i mentioned you could be a winner? because you could be. a real, live winner. (or is it a real-life winner? maybe my parents and their dictionary will come to the rescue again.)

i don't want to give away the surprise, (plus, i want you to visit the blog), but i will tell you that this contest involves designing an outfit, like this:







and then, possibly winning that outfit for yourself. see what i mean about being a big-time winner? i thought so. now, off you go. show us what you've got!

sunday best

i have a massive crush on my new pink shoes. and i bet you do, too.

sometimes...

sometimes when life is a little bit sad and a little bit hard, what you need is waffles at jim and joan's.

and then, sometimes, what you need to do is go back to bed for the rest of the day and just not feel bad about it. sometimes being in bed all day long means watching lots and lots of episodes of "arrested development." and sometimes it means sleeping for hours. and sometimes it means both.

and sometimes, even though you could just stay in bed all night, too, it's better to get up and go to dinner with your grandparents and uncle who love you and tell bad jokes and talk about the voter paradox and feed you chocolate.

then, sometimes, the thing to do is get back in bed and, before you leave for dreamland, think about all the things and people and places that make your life happy and good, even though it is also a little bit sad and a little bit hard right this minute.

sometimes, that's just the thing to do.

high rollers

one of the first times i hung out with my now-roommate briana was at a sushi rolling party she hosted a year or so ago. there were so many hip, cool people there that i was pretty intimidated, and my only real memory of the evening is standing in the corner eating eel.

luckily (mostly for me), times change and now hip, cool briana sleeps just upstairs, and our house is the hip, cool place for hip, cool people to roll sushi, like we did last week, ostensibly for john's birthday but he wouldn't let us sing or even talk about how it was his birthday really, so it was mostly just for fun. and fun it was, but that seems pretty normal for raw fish, i would say.


{birthday boy and fish-master}


{when jaren discovered his seaweed was too full to roll correctly, oertel said, "you probably like really fat burritos, too, huh?" not sure if it really translates onto the screen, but it was hi-larious.}


{delicious}


{amy}


{elliott}


{oertel, by the way, drove all the way from provo, which was a really nice thing for her to do since i never, ever, under any circumstances, return the favor. also, lauren is holding her first hand-rolled sushi ever! lovely, isn't it?}


{briana}


{elliott's face makes me happy}


{so does my favorite japanese treat, mochi ice cream. the asian market just around the corner sells it, and i am pretty much permanently exhausted from the exertion of willpower it takes not to eat it every single day.}



{holly and evan stopped by}


{along with baby kyle, who i love with a love that is true. said holly: "sometimes when we come over here and frances holds the baby, i feel like we should put that hospital bracelet back on that keeps people from stealing him."}


{full tummies for days. the end.}

i was here

this might be old news to all of you who are more online savvy than me, but the killers' music video, that source of schoolgirl giddiness (still waiting to hear from you, brandon flowers!) and internet censorship, is finally out. (it appears the censorship might still be on, as the embedding option for the video was "disabled by request." but, click on that link and it will take you there.)

i have to say, i think the whole thing looked a lot cooler in real life than it does in this video. some parts of it are, frankly, downright weird. and there were definitely no mountain lions on set, so i am not sure what that is all about. there is also, apparently, some disagreement about whether the chorus says, "are we human/or are we dancer?" or "are we human/or are we denser?" my first-hand opinion is that the word is "dancer" not "denser," but both are pretty idiotic, so i don't think it really matters.

on a more positive note, brandon flowers is completely hot. and the song might have dumb lyrics, but it's still catchy and i like it. and the aerial shots of the valley (i was in that helicopter!) and other long shots of the set are pretty stunning. and, most importantly, i was there. so, lame or not, this video has a special place in my heart.

and, here's a little bonus for you. i don't know if anyone saw the killers on saturday night live recently, but click here and tell me if mr. flowers' jacket looks familiar...

quirk this

it has come to my attention (a little late, but hopefully not too late) that i have been tagged by anna to share six of my quirks. because anna sometimes makes me homemade pesto with shrimp, and because she is willing to watch obscure and basically ridiculous spanish films with me as well, i am willing to accept this task. and so, here you are.

1. i prefer to eat skittles two at a time, same color (two greens, two yellows, two reds and so forth). there are times, say in a dark movie theater or when too many people are watching, when this is not a feasible option. but, most of the time, i can pull it off. pairings do become admittedly trickier when you get to the end of the bag, but i have provisions for that as well. for example, if you can put a green and a yellow together, that's the best. red can also go with purple, and orange + yellow is acceptable. when all of those emergency combinations have been used up, i break down and eat them one at a time. as a related bonus quirk, i don't like to mix my food. none of this peas and mashed potatoes in the same bite nonsense. i eat all of one thing, then all of the next and so on, until my plate is empty.

2. i am an obsessive quoter of movies, probably because i watch my favorite movies and movie scenes over and over again in a row. my family has dubbed this "pulling a frances." (as in, "i pulled a frances and watched "the bourne identity" twice this week.") my record is probably watching "bend it like beckham" at least once a day for a week when i was first home from my mission. i'll also rewind and watch funny parts (or, i'll admit it, romantic kissy parts) two or three or four times before i am satisfied. and i will laugh (or swoon) every time.

3. i like to fall asleep in other people's beds, with or without them. the other sunday morning it was snowing and gray and i went and climbed in with my roommate, briana, because she has a big double bed and a heating pad. we chatted for a while and then i fell asleep there for another three hours until it was time to get up and be late for church. it was the best sunday morning ever.

4. i am an expert in celebrity gossip. i can hardly get anything done at work until i've visited people.com and caught myself up. if you want to know why madonna and guy ritchie are splitting up, or what reese witherspoon is really like (jake, call me!) or who that guy lauren conrad has been spotted with is, i'm your girl.

5. i sometimes make things up, but i state these sketchy facts with such confidence and authority that i am often not refuted. the great carmel/caramel debate is a perfect example, or at least it was until my mom and the oxford english dictionary got involved.

6. i "sing" along with the instrumentals, as well as the words. i like to think of it as a sort of vocal air guitar. i was under the impression that this was a fairly normal thing to do while driving or doing the dishes or taking a shower, but apparently it is not. now that i know it's weird, i am a little bit shy to do it in front of other people, but most of the time i just can't help myself, so you might get lucky and hear it some day.

and now i command that kate, jill and emdawg perform the same task. and, i would also like to hear from you, dear reader what quirks you think i have missed. (everyone be sure to check the comments section to see what my parents say. i bet they'll have some good ones.)

best. announcement. ever.

i think i have made my general aversion to wedding festivities pretty well-known out here on the interweb, but if you send me an announcement that makes me laugh out loud (with you, not at you), you can count on me coming for sure. which is why i will be wedding lunching today with mr. and mrs. darrell and audrey logan/smith. (in addition, of course, to the fact that audrey is a dear and dearly loved friend with whom i am happy and honored to celebrate.)

and i quote:

Dr. Stephen & Jan Smith
are relieved to announce that their daughter
Audrey Elizabeth Smith
has finally succumbed to societal pressures
and will marry
Darrell E. Logan
on October 18, 2008
at the Salt Lake Temple.

like i said. best. announcement. ever.

(and, of course, congratulations to the happy, and hilarious, couple!)

mother knows best

as it happens, i was schooled by my mom in the great carmel/caramel debate and i am woman enough to admit it here for all to see. she left this response (with lightning speed, i might add) to the caramel vs. carmel question of the most recent frances cake post:

Frances,
Didn't you learn at your parents' knee to keep a dictionary in the kitchen? Caramel: 1 sugar or syrup heated until it turns brown, used as a flavouring or colouring (okay, it's the Oxford English dictionary) for food or drink. 2 a soft toffee made with sugar and butter that have been melted and further heated.
Carmel -- not a word.*
But your caramel cake looks delicious and your friend looks nice.

(*not to get nit-picky here, mom, but i might point out that carmel is a word as far as it refers to the california town of which clint eastwood was mayor. just for the record.)

but, i guess that explanation pretty much clears it up. as far as the spelling question, at least. (though i might be the only one who thought we were dealing with two separate spellings. sort of the like the time i realized the opening lyrics to "surfin' usa" were not, in fact, "if everybody had a notion" but rather "if everybody had an ocean." i have been assured i am the only person in the history of the world who has ever made that mistake.) the question of how the word should be pronounced, and when and why, is still open for debate. and my caramel-pronounced-as-carmel for sauces, etc. and caramel-pronounced-as-caramel for stand-alone candy is still a pretty solid argument, i think.

also, i feel compelled to clarify that my parents do, indeed, keep the oxford english dictionary (abridged version) in the kitchen. and it is, indeed, consulted to settle some vocabulary dispute or another at least once a meal.

and, in conclusion, at my friend jill's very good suggestion, hereafter all frances cake recipes will be included in the post, so everyone can enjoy the goodness (except, ironically, for jill who currently lives in africa where cake resources are, well, scarce). holla! so, here is the delicious caramel cake, another winner from southernfood.about.com. if you need to know what something looks like when it's "soft-balling," i suggest you call emily's mom, jayne.

man of the house

one of the awesome things about having a dude crashing on your couch is that he will make an unsolicited trip to the hardware store, procure the necessary (and mysterious) items and re-hang the curtain rod that fell out of your living room wall, and even patch up the enormous hole it left in said wall while he's at it.

just thought you should know.

frances cake, take 10: the is it caramel or carmel? edition

i stalked emily on the internet for a little while before we met in real life (i also stalked her sister, katie, on the internet before later stalking her through the grocery store), and we recently completed that ever-tricky 2D to 3D transition with frances cake. we had, of course, seen each other at concerts, craft nights, parties and other cool-people events (both of us being incredibly cool people), but the whole point of frances cake is that i get to have cool people all to myself. and so, me, emily and an autumn-appropriate carmel cake it was.

i peppered emily with questions about her job (account manager at a studio that designs packaging and logos for video games. i think. did i get it right?) and her remarkably close band of siblings (as one of two siblings, large family dynamics are endlessly fascinating to me). then we laid like slugs on the couch and talked and talked about the weird social interactions of single life, something i actually think about a lot. the bottom line is, in single-and-mormon-land (and maybe non-mormon-land as well, but i don't know anything about that mythical place) this whole business of being social can be a tricky one, and the internet doesn't help. like when you sign onto facebook (i love you! i hate you!) and see pictures of a party or spontaneous gathering of some kind to which you were not invited but other people you know were and then you get your feelings hurt until you realize that's dumb because you don't really like half the people who were there anyway and you wouldn't invite them to a party or spontaneous gathering either. you know? it can actually be really hard to decide how to spend your time and with who, unfettered by all these (usually false) notions about who and what is cool. it was, if i do say so myself, a most interesting and illuminating conversation.

and then marc came home and we started talking about boobs. just for a minute, though.

and then emily and i forced ourselves off the couch to tackle the frosting recipe. do to some inadequate vetting on my part, the recipe was a little more complicated than the usual frances cake fare. luckily, emily knew what it meant to have something "softball" so we managed it successfully. it was sort of magic frosting that turned hard as soon as it was spread, like that magic shell stuff for ice cream, only infinitely more delicious.





the frosting also spurred a highly important and intellectual discussion of whether it's carmel or caramel or both. does anyone have expertise in this? because i would love to hear it. my contention, unfounded on anything, is that carmel is attached to something else, like it's frosting or sauce or something, while caramel is a stand-alone thing. like, you can say "i am going to eat a caramel" but not "a carmel." who's with me?

then emily gave me her famous late autumn mix cd (which i am listening to right now, as a matter of fact) and then we decided that frances cake had really sealed the deal and we could now be the kind of friends who go to a random movie in the middle of the week. in other words, it's go time. which is a good time indeed.

moving on

the shabby apple blog, which features even more of my smart, sharp, witty writing (can you handle it?) has a new home. come visit us here. please. pretty please? with a fabulous dress on top?




aww, thanks.

life under the bubble

as a mormon who was raised outside the bosom of "zion," there are some decidedly strange and unexpected phenomena about living in utah for the first time as an adult. a few examples: seeing an apostle stock up on sour patch kids (bet you didn't know they were jeffrey r. holland's favorite, did you?), or going on a bunch of dates with, and totally falling for, a guy who turns out to be your (third) cousin (it doesn't only happen on tv). or, heading to the grocery store on an otherwise uneventful friday night for some ice cream to go with your chocolate chip cookies and discovering this:



yes, we are talking about a national chain grocery store and yes, that is a tower of mormon-themed greeting cards and yes, i still think this is totally weird.

i mean, really, what is normal about coming across a card like this at the grocery?



many of the cards drew some rather concerning (not to mention devaluing) parallels, as you can see below. (really? bond of eternal marriage = bond of super glue?).



the most troubling, though, were those cards, like this one, that walked the blurry line between sound mormon doctrine and often-faulty mormon culture. (i am pretty sure christ never baked a casserole. i'm just saying...)



and, winner of my personal favorite (not in a good way) for the night:



i am most sorry to report that the inside of this card reads, "no greater calling."

i'm sure convinced. who's with me?

manic monday

another daybook...

for today...

outside my (office) window (or, rather, what i guess it outside the window since the blinds are closed): sunny, blue sky over a quiet downtown, fall colors, fewer people than i would like on the street.

i am thinking about: government bailouts, tina fey on saturday night live, whether or not i can write my next assignment without quotes from the person who refuses to call me back.

i am thankful for: potential, options and potential options.

from the kitchen: just made a frozen pizza in the office microwave. jealous?

i am wearing: a green shirt with a butterfly embroidered on the front, pants that really are jeans but are dark and cut like slacks enough that i can get away with wearing them to the office on days other than fridays, shoes with a split toe like the ninjas wear, my favorite bangles from india.

i am reading: slate.com, a study about the economic impact of the oil and natural gas industry in utah. jealous?

i am hoping: for the fulfillment of potential options. and a good night's sleep tonight.

i am creating: a list of ideas for christmas gifts to give my family.

i am hearing: typing on keyboards, tegan and sara in my headphones.

around the house: the bed i left unmade this morning, recently fabric-covered picture frames to be hung, curtain rod that fell out of the wall last night (and onto my head) waiting to be repaired.

one of my favorite things: payday.

a few plans for the rest of the week: movie tonight, birthday parties, debate watching party, trip to the hardware store and idaho.

i have five friends. do you?

because you should send them this video (or tell them to come here and check it out). i even picked the one with edited-out swears. because i love you that much.





(if you still need to register to vote, come to the ywca of salt lake city tonight at 7p.m. there is a screening of the film "iron jawed angels" about the women's suffrage movement, and there will be people on hand all night to hook you up. with voter registration, that is.)