Wednesday, December 16, 2009

mr. sandman

we have a situation over here, people. the situation is that i have not slept in days. literally. there has been a lot of tossing and turning, but only a two or three hours of fleeting shut-eye all week. i am basically running on swedish fish and diet coke at this point. it's not pretty.

the source of this instant-onset insomnia remains a mystery. and, as a person who can generally sleep anywhere, under any circumstances, for any length of time, i feel at a particular disadvantage because i don't have any tried-and-true tricks to lull myself to dreamland.

i have tried everything i can think of, so far to no avail. this includes, but is not limited to: a hot bath, lemon tea, listening to soothing music, trying another bed, trying another pillow, trying another side of the bed (head where my feet usually are), putting on more pajamas, trying different pajamas, taking off my pajamas all together, reading something boring, reading something interesting, shopping on the internet, paying bills online, blog posting (yesterday's post was a late-night wonder), blog stalking, facebook stalking, staring at the ceiling, getting up to go to the bathroom, counting down from 500, tylenol cold medicine, making a mental list of everything that might be subconsciously keeping me awake and then dismissing each item as unimportant, working out before bed to wear myself down, imagining every scenario in which i could run into jake gyllenhaal and have him fall instantly in love with me. and i am sure the list goes on.

and still. nothing. it's very, very bad. i mean, i'm functioning, but not for long, i don't think. so tonight, i am pulling out the big guns. freshly laundered sheets and nyquil.

wish me luck.


Anthony said...

I bet sacrament meeting will do the trick. I also suggest reading the old testament- numbers especially can do it for me.

If you are nervous about my job situation- I got that same job but in Kansas City. Right now we are in the hospital and Carrie is being induced. I will be a dad by the end of today.

If you ever need someone to bore you sleep, and I perform that function for Carrie frequently, just let me know.

CL said...

Insomnia is no fun. You could try Tylenol PM or melatonin. My mom always told me as long as I was relaxed it didn't matter if I was asleep. Turn the clocks around and sing some nursery rhymes- try making a dream. Mostly just don't worry about it- it makes it worse :-) Good luck!

Ninny Beth said...

I do tylenol pm too. Not only does it help you sleep, but it also dulls the pain of crushed hope and dashed dreams. No really, that's how they advertise it.

Sarah Stamps said...

Maybe you wiil sleep better knowing that Jake Gyllenhaal is now single;)

Carley A. T. said...

You are going to hate this suggestion: give up/ decrease your intake of stimulants.

When I went off sugar a couple of years ago I slept the best I ever had. Your body gets overly tired when you cram it full of caffeine and sugar, and sometimes can add up to the point to where you can't sleep anymore.

If you give your body a stimulant break, you might find sleep comes more easily.