man of the house

one of the awesome things about having a dude crashing on your couch is that he will make an unsolicited trip to the hardware store, procure the necessary (and mysterious) items and re-hang the curtain rod that fell out of your living room wall, and even patch up the enormous hole it left in said wall while he's at it.

just thought you should know.

frances cake, take 10: the is it caramel or carmel? edition

i stalked emily on the internet for a little while before we met in real life (i also stalked her sister, katie, on the internet before later stalking her through the grocery store), and we recently completed that ever-tricky 2D to 3D transition with frances cake. we had, of course, seen each other at concerts, craft nights, parties and other cool-people events (both of us being incredibly cool people), but the whole point of frances cake is that i get to have cool people all to myself. and so, me, emily and an autumn-appropriate carmel cake it was.

i peppered emily with questions about her job (account manager at a studio that designs packaging and logos for video games. i think. did i get it right?) and her remarkably close band of siblings (as one of two siblings, large family dynamics are endlessly fascinating to me). then we laid like slugs on the couch and talked and talked about the weird social interactions of single life, something i actually think about a lot. the bottom line is, in single-and-mormon-land (and maybe non-mormon-land as well, but i don't know anything about that mythical place) this whole business of being social can be a tricky one, and the internet doesn't help. like when you sign onto facebook (i love you! i hate you!) and see pictures of a party or spontaneous gathering of some kind to which you were not invited but other people you know were and then you get your feelings hurt until you realize that's dumb because you don't really like half the people who were there anyway and you wouldn't invite them to a party or spontaneous gathering either. you know? it can actually be really hard to decide how to spend your time and with who, unfettered by all these (usually false) notions about who and what is cool. it was, if i do say so myself, a most interesting and illuminating conversation.

and then marc came home and we started talking about boobs. just for a minute, though.

and then emily and i forced ourselves off the couch to tackle the frosting recipe. do to some inadequate vetting on my part, the recipe was a little more complicated than the usual frances cake fare. luckily, emily knew what it meant to have something "softball" so we managed it successfully. it was sort of magic frosting that turned hard as soon as it was spread, like that magic shell stuff for ice cream, only infinitely more delicious.





the frosting also spurred a highly important and intellectual discussion of whether it's carmel or caramel or both. does anyone have expertise in this? because i would love to hear it. my contention, unfounded on anything, is that carmel is attached to something else, like it's frosting or sauce or something, while caramel is a stand-alone thing. like, you can say "i am going to eat a caramel" but not "a carmel." who's with me?

then emily gave me her famous late autumn mix cd (which i am listening to right now, as a matter of fact) and then we decided that frances cake had really sealed the deal and we could now be the kind of friends who go to a random movie in the middle of the week. in other words, it's go time. which is a good time indeed.

moving on

the shabby apple blog, which features even more of my smart, sharp, witty writing (can you handle it?) has a new home. come visit us here. please. pretty please? with a fabulous dress on top?




aww, thanks.

life under the bubble

as a mormon who was raised outside the bosom of "zion," there are some decidedly strange and unexpected phenomena about living in utah for the first time as an adult. a few examples: seeing an apostle stock up on sour patch kids (bet you didn't know they were jeffrey r. holland's favorite, did you?), or going on a bunch of dates with, and totally falling for, a guy who turns out to be your (third) cousin (it doesn't only happen on tv). or, heading to the grocery store on an otherwise uneventful friday night for some ice cream to go with your chocolate chip cookies and discovering this:



yes, we are talking about a national chain grocery store and yes, that is a tower of mormon-themed greeting cards and yes, i still think this is totally weird.

i mean, really, what is normal about coming across a card like this at the grocery?



many of the cards drew some rather concerning (not to mention devaluing) parallels, as you can see below. (really? bond of eternal marriage = bond of super glue?).



the most troubling, though, were those cards, like this one, that walked the blurry line between sound mormon doctrine and often-faulty mormon culture. (i am pretty sure christ never baked a casserole. i'm just saying...)



and, winner of my personal favorite (not in a good way) for the night:



i am most sorry to report that the inside of this card reads, "no greater calling."

i'm sure convinced. who's with me?

manic monday

another daybook...

for today...

outside my (office) window (or, rather, what i guess it outside the window since the blinds are closed): sunny, blue sky over a quiet downtown, fall colors, fewer people than i would like on the street.

i am thinking about: government bailouts, tina fey on saturday night live, whether or not i can write my next assignment without quotes from the person who refuses to call me back.

i am thankful for: potential, options and potential options.

from the kitchen: just made a frozen pizza in the office microwave. jealous?

i am wearing: a green shirt with a butterfly embroidered on the front, pants that really are jeans but are dark and cut like slacks enough that i can get away with wearing them to the office on days other than fridays, shoes with a split toe like the ninjas wear, my favorite bangles from india.

i am reading: slate.com, a study about the economic impact of the oil and natural gas industry in utah. jealous?

i am hoping: for the fulfillment of potential options. and a good night's sleep tonight.

i am creating: a list of ideas for christmas gifts to give my family.

i am hearing: typing on keyboards, tegan and sara in my headphones.

around the house: the bed i left unmade this morning, recently fabric-covered picture frames to be hung, curtain rod that fell out of the wall last night (and onto my head) waiting to be repaired.

one of my favorite things: payday.

a few plans for the rest of the week: movie tonight, birthday parties, debate watching party, trip to the hardware store and idaho.

i have five friends. do you?

because you should send them this video (or tell them to come here and check it out). i even picked the one with edited-out swears. because i love you that much.





(if you still need to register to vote, come to the ywca of salt lake city tonight at 7p.m. there is a screening of the film "iron jawed angels" about the women's suffrage movement, and there will be people on hand all night to hook you up. with voter registration, that is.)

and now, back to me

maybe you've heard this already, but it was my birthday last week! six days ago, to be exact, and since a whole week hasn't passed yet, i feel like it is still totally appropriate to talk about it. not to mention that, since this is my blog after all, it's actually appropriate for me to talk about whatever i want. so. take that.

anyway, back to me, talking about myself.

the night before my recent birthday (which was exactly one week ago today. to be exact. exactly), i had a celebratory (as in celebrating me!) dinner with these girls. who are my girls. my peeps. my favorites. my sisters. my urban family. my laugh and cries. my in good times and bad. my bests. (we missed you, jen!)

we went to the melting pot and stuffed ourselves with delicious fondues and even better company (though if everyone in the world came with a swirl of peanut butter, how much better would this world be?). as per my favorite birthday tradition, everyone at the table shared one of their favorite things about me. (for the record, and lest you think i am a total narcissist, this is my favorite birthday tradition on other people's birthdays, too. not just my own. but, we are talking about me right now, aren't we? so let's get back to it.) i left dinner feeling loved and appreciated and warm and grateful for my life and the people who make it up.

then, as per kjones' favorite birthday tradition, i had to tell everyone at the table one thing i learned in the past year, and one goal for the next year. to be perfectly frank, i have been pretty crappy about the making and keeping of goals lately, so it was a good chance to think of something. and putting it out in the ether of the interweb seems like as good a way as any to hold myself at least somewhat accountable. so, here you go.

first, what i learned. you may or may not know this, but my strong instinct for self-preservation extends beyond a concern for my physical well-being. despite a general love of people, and what might be termed an outgoing personality, when it comes to matters of emotion i often lean towards protecting myself rather than saying what i mean, or how i feel. the instinct to insulate myself from potential emotional harm is high. but in the past year of my life i have learned that protecting myself doesn't actually always make me feel better. there are times, i learned, when putting myself directly in the line of fire, in the eye of the hurricane, on the front lines, in the trenches of emotional honesty and vulnerability, makes me feel safer in the end.

and now, my goal. several months ago our bishop gave a talk about the process by which people become experts that has stuck with me in a big way. people who become experts, he said, are people who come to the edge of their knowledge or understanding or comfort, and find a way through to the other side. everyone else, he said, gets to the edge and stays there, eventually retreating instead of pushing through. in some areas of my life, i feel like i have been chilling at the edge for a while. i don't feel as though i've been retreating, that my knowledge or understanding or skill in any one area of my life has been shrinking, but i do feel like it is time to get down to business and do some pushing of my own. in other words, i am ready to see the other side, and i am ready to work for it, too.

i have a pretty good feeling about this being 27 thing.