i was really excited about it, even though it probably didn't seem like i was excited about it because it sat in the box until tonight. partly because i didn't have time to put it all together, but mostly because i wasn't sure if i could do it by myself, and i didn't want to ask for help. not that there is anything wrong with asking for help, but i didn't want to. i wanted to tackle it and i wanted to succeed.
what's the big deal? you might be thinking. so what if you have to ask for help?
well, i'll tell you what the big deal is.
a little while ago i was struggling to open a particularly stubborn jar of newman's own roasted garlic marinara sauce and i found myself suddenly depressed about the idea of spending the rest of my life alone and having to do everything by myself. "this is why people get married," i thought, fruitlessly twisting the cap. "if i was married, i would never have to open a jar by myself again."
of course, i know that's not really true. married or not, there are probably a lot more jars in my future. but, in that moment, that unopened jar made me feel pretty pathetic and alone.
i was almost ready to just give up (and starve. to death. alone!) when i remembered we have these nifty little kitchen contraptions, sort of like sticky pot holders, that are designed for this very purpose. the purpose being the opening of stubborn jars, not a borderline emotional breakdown.
i found said contraption in the drawer, opened the jar, enjoyed a nice bowl of pasta (with sauce!) and, by the time i was done, i was thinking to myself, "i can do this. and i could do it forever if i had to." (or at least until my dream of living on a massive commune with all my favorite friends becomes a reality.)
sure, i want a partner in life (and in crime) who shares the work and, more importantly, the fun. and the thinking, and the laughing, and the learning. and the loving. but, in the meantime, i don't feel like i'm living a back-up plan while i wait for my real life to begin. i don't feel like i am missing out on something so much better than what i have.
and i feel like, if i have to, i can probably find a way to do everything i need to do myself. including shoveling driveways and improvising a broiler pan and changing the time on my car clock and planning vacations and choosing a retirement plan and weatherproofing windows and killing bugs.
and putting together indoor bike trainers.
ta-da!
granted, it turned out not to be that complicated, but it still felt pretty good to do it on my own.
plus, now i can watch "battlestar galactica" and ride my bike at the same time. and i can't imagine anything could make me feel better than that.
5 comments:
aaahhh! that is the perfect thing to do while riding a bike trainer.
First of all, the Newman's Roasted Garlic Marinara sauce is worth buying one of those sticky pot holder thingies - I've been meaning to get one myself. Secondly, good job for putting your new bike trainer together! I feel the same way anytime I come home with Ikea and manage to put together an entire piece of furniture using nothing but wooden pegs and 2 screws.
it seems as though I may have changed the clock in your grand am (grand prix?) back in the day a few times ... no? glad you're doing it on your own now! I love your "not feeling like you're living a back-up plan for now" ... i keep trying to explain this to some of my friends who are single but totally against it.
You'll get to watch a whole lot of movies now with the bike trainer in front of the TV. I just watched one while I was on my exercise machine that made me laugh until I cried -- "The Gods Must Be Crazy." You HAVE to get it if you haven't seen it.
Also, good job on the jar.
Hooray for Frances! And your Mom is right about The God's Must be Crazy- it is a must see and even better while exercising I'm sure:-)
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