come to zion, come to zion!

here is a small list of things i am rarely (if ever) inclined to do:

camp
pee outside (my aversion to this deserves a category, and probably even a whole blog post, of its own)
scramble over boulders
skip showers
scale jagged cliff faces
propel myself from high ledges into dark and narrow canyons
wear a wetsuit
get clotheslined by cacti
wade through murky (and possibly disease-carrying) water
shimmy down logs
hike in my bathing suit
hike in my bathing suit along a major road

so, with that list in mind, i think you can see why my weekend was so remarkable. it went something like this...

piled people and gear into my magical mary poppins' carpet bag car (seriously, it never runs out of room!) and drove down to zion national park...

...with susan...



... and dave...



... and jessica (and jessie and reece who, sadly, do not have candid car photos of their own)...




stopping on the way in new harmony, ancestral homeland for susan and dave (they're cousins, you know), and also a great place to get a killer view of the fingers of kolob...









after arriving at our campsite (with no bathroom, i might add), i overheard this bedtime conversation between dave and susan:

susan: what's your favorite kind of lettuce?
dave: arugula, for sure.
susan: really?
dave: yeah. i prefer the dark, smooth lettuces.

after a massive fit of laughter, i slept peacefully under the stars (and on top of a heavenly "princess pad")...



then woke up the next morning...



to tackle the subway, a fine piece of "technical canyoneering" in the left fork of north creek. consider this brief explanation before you judge me for worrying it was in said canyon that i would meet my death: "willing participants will battle climbing down boulders, ledges and waterfalls that bar the way. the route contains several short swims through chilly pools and miles of wading in ankle deep water..."

i'm not going to lie. it was grueling and hard but it was also the most spectacular experience, unlike anything i have ever undertaken before. there is something completely inexplicable and truly awe-inspiring about being in the middle of the earth like that. i feel like a badass for having done it. and, i might add, having done it well.

we hiked up for a while...





and then took a little rest to let some of the other groups pass us, so we weren't bottlenecked later along the trail. (i had a really reassuring "i can do it" moment when i saw a pregnant woman go by.)





then it was down into the canyon, and to our first rappel. sitting waiting for a group ahead of us to complete the same rappel i heard a conversation that went something like this:

woman about to rappel: blah, blah, blah, blah...
man about to rappel: blah, blah, blah, shattered spine, blah, blah, blah...

having never rappelled before, this did not fill me with glee. but dave was an incredibly kind and patient and encouraging teacher and i made it to the bottom with no problems.








as did everyone else. even dave, who just wedged his way down with no ropes. like you do sometimes.













the subway got its name (at least i think this is true) from one little section with a fault line across the floor (ground?) that looks like tracks, and walls coming up and around like a tunnel. it's truly breathtaking.











we took off our packs and had some snacks (i'm a rhymer and i didn't know it!) and even took a little dip in one of the pools before we headed out again.













the rest of the day involved shimmying down logs...



and running streams and stunning waterfalls...



several slips and falls, an unfortunate run-in (literally) with a cactus (that was me) and an intensely steep climb out of the canyon to ultimate triumph.



though after all that excitement, susan found waiting for dave to bring the second car back a little dull.



we were all completely wiped out (the whole hike took us about 12 hours) and i thought maybe we would give up the idea of doing another hike on sunday, but there i found myself, sunday morning, getting ready to tackle keyhole canyon.

first we went to rent wetsuits, because the canyon is narrow and shady and filled with cold and, frankly, disgusting water. (dave thought it was really funny, when we were actually in the canyon, to pretend like we were in the trash compactor from "star wars." and it was funny. the first time.) just for the record, getting wetsuits on is a feat of strength in and of itself and i expended basically all of my remaining energy doing it. though i didn't expend as much energy as jessica, who put hers on backwards the first time around and had to try again.

then we went to practice our rappelling, because you have to rappel all the way down into keyhole canyon. some of the maneuvers were pretty tricky, but we all succeeded. we look like pros, eh?











(and yes, i realize i put up two pictures of myself and only one of everyone else, but it's my blog so i'm allowed.)

driving to the canyon i was chastized by a park ranger who thought i was trying to drive through some cones set up to make people stop. but, she forgave all when she found out i was a libra, as she had just read a study that said libras are the worst drivers ever. and she can say that because she's a libra, too.

now, here is the tricky thing about keyhole canyon. there is a 15 or 20 minute hike up to the first rappel point and it's exposed and hot, so you don't want to put your wetsuit on until you absolutely have to. but, the canyon is also really super narrow so you don't want to take any packs with you. and if you don't have your pack, you don't have anywhere to put clothes that you would take off to put on your wetsuit. so, i think you can see how i ended up hiking along the side of the road, and then through the wilderness, (un)dressed like this:



the hike was worth it though (no packs also=no cameras, so you'll have to take my word for it). we spent a lot of time scooting along with our bums against one wall and our feet against the other, and i really felt like we had traveled through the center of the earth and come out the other end. i also felt like, in our wetsuits, we could totally fight crime.





and then, wasted and happy, we headed back home.

a quick inventory of my battle wounds reveals:

a few minor gouges from catus spines
major difficulty going up and down stairs, though that seems to be getting better
completely raw knuckles on three fingers
two scraped knees
one leg pretty much covered with bruises
wicked rock burn on my right elbow

and every single one was totally worth it.