we have arrived in trivandrum, our final stop before we head up to delhi and then home. it is almost impossible to believe the adventure is about to be over. it is both everything and nothing that i expected, and i think this experience, and india, will be teaching me for a long time to come.
we came to trivandrum after spending a few days in quilon. we did some shopping, visited a marine processing factory, and a cashew processing and packaging operation. i tell you what, i will never eat a cashew nut the same way. every step of the process... picking, shelling, scraping off the skin, removing blemishes, sorting by size and quality... it is all done by hand. by hand. by mostly women, who make the equivalent fo $7 a day. pretty incredible.
yesterday, when we arrived in trivandrum, we had lunch with some of the rotarians, including mine and ruby's host, suresh mathew, and had what we all agreed was the first honest conversation we've had with indians about politics (plagued by corruption), the indian perception of america and the role of women in indian society (men and women have always disagreed, they said, but now it is more acceptable to do it in public. more on this in another post, i think). we had a wonderful beachside dinner last night and, in the most exciting news of all, we met a mahuraja and some princesses! we put on our pretty indian clothes (we all had gorgeous skirts and matching tops tailored earlier in the trip) and went to the palace. suresh warned us "not to have an imagination," that the mahuraja and princesses were ordinary, simple people, but it was still a complete thrill to meet them. they were warm and spoke perfect english and were so glad we had come. we had tea and played with grandkids and took lots of pictures. i sat on the same couch as jackie kennedy and the same chair as eleanor roosevelt and heard stories from princess gouri about touring the united states in the late 1970s on a greyhound bus ticket that cost $99 for 99 days. an experience that will never be replicated.
which is how i feel about this whole trip. i have been jonesing for my bed, a big greek salad and a peanut butter milkshake, but here are some things i will miss terribly about india.
1. women in saris riding sidesaddle on the backs of motorcycles, sometimes carrying groceries and/or children.
2. elephants walking down the street.
3. a temple procession (not to mention a temple) everywhere you look.
4. fresh, sweet water, straight out of a coconut.
5. warm sun and light breezes.
6. putting my dirty laundry out in the morning and having it appear, clean and fresh and warm that afternoon.
7. going barefoot.
8. palm trees, enormous flowers, huge gardens everywhere you look.
9. signs such as, "infant jesus nursery school," shops named after hindu gods, stores like the "pants palace."
10. women and men balancing baskets, buckets, pails, piles of sugar cane and bags of rice on their heads.
11. indian warmth, hospitality, care and concern. i hope i have learned how to be more welcoming, kind and caring.
11. my team. ruby said last night she thought that by now we would all be sick of eachother, but really just the opposite is true. i think we are all, in some way, dreading the end of our time together. i know i am. life won't be quite the same without my team.
there is so much more to say, and, eventually, i hope i find a way to say it all. we'll be here in trivandrum, mostly relaxing and enjoying our wonderful hosts, until the morning of the 30th, when we fly to delhi, drive to the taj mahal, and then come home. there will be lots more stories and pictures when i get back, if not before.
love and namaste.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
in india, you can't have any fear
a few days ago i rode on top of a baby elephant.
i also met a woman named renate. she is originally from germany, but emigrated to the united states, married an american man, had a son and built a business in portland. when he was 20 years old, her only son died of cancer, her marriage fell apart and a friend convinced her to come to india. fourteen years later, she is still here, now married to an indian man.
this was fascinating to me. with my time in india winding down quickly (less than one week!) i can honestly say that it has been an extraordinary, overwhelming, frustrating and wonderful experience that i will be very sad to see end. but, i have remained unconvinced that i would want to do it again. i think i'm still in the "might come back to india" camp. maybe i just love upright toilets, warm showers, safe tap water and personal space too much. so, it was intriguing to me that renate would permanently give those things up. she said she went back to the states four years ago and was so homesick for india that she booked an early flight home, and she hasn't been back to the states since.
part of it, she said, is that her heart began to heal in india. india changed her, and i can see why you would want to stay in a place that made you who you are. but she said something else really interesting. she said, "in india, you can't have any fear." she loved upright toilets, warm showers, safe tap water and personal space as much as the next person, she said, but she decided to not be afraid. and once she wasn't afraid, she found she could exist here just as well as there.
i don't think i need to move to india, but it was empowering to start embracing the idea that if i wanted to, i could; that there are things i think i need that i don't, and things i things i think i can't do that i can. it's just like india has taught me all along... we don't need to change to make our place in the world, but adapt to fit in the places where we need to be.
and, by the way, riding an elephant was totally awesome.
i also met a woman named renate. she is originally from germany, but emigrated to the united states, married an american man, had a son and built a business in portland. when he was 20 years old, her only son died of cancer, her marriage fell apart and a friend convinced her to come to india. fourteen years later, she is still here, now married to an indian man.
this was fascinating to me. with my time in india winding down quickly (less than one week!) i can honestly say that it has been an extraordinary, overwhelming, frustrating and wonderful experience that i will be very sad to see end. but, i have remained unconvinced that i would want to do it again. i think i'm still in the "might come back to india" camp. maybe i just love upright toilets, warm showers, safe tap water and personal space too much. so, it was intriguing to me that renate would permanently give those things up. she said she went back to the states four years ago and was so homesick for india that she booked an early flight home, and she hasn't been back to the states since.
part of it, she said, is that her heart began to heal in india. india changed her, and i can see why you would want to stay in a place that made you who you are. but she said something else really interesting. she said, "in india, you can't have any fear." she loved upright toilets, warm showers, safe tap water and personal space as much as the next person, she said, but she decided to not be afraid. and once she wasn't afraid, she found she could exist here just as well as there.
i don't think i need to move to india, but it was empowering to start embracing the idea that if i wanted to, i could; that there are things i think i need that i don't, and things i things i think i can't do that i can. it's just like india has taught me all along... we don't need to change to make our place in the world, but adapt to fit in the places where we need to be.
and, by the way, riding an elephant was totally awesome.
i don't follow you
drinking is one of the major passtimes here in kerala, and the men have it down to an absolute science. rotary meetings are held at night here, with dinner afterwards. kerala rotarians start drinking before dinner, and put off eating as long as they can, so as not to disrupt optimal absorption of the alcohol. (melissa and i had one host who had so perfected this system scott sheepishly asked if his wife could drive us home. we thought we were safe until we got in the car and she said, "now, let's see if i can remember how to reverse.")
a few nights ago we were at a particularly drunken meeting and i was approached several times by the same man, asking me what my profession was and wondering if i wanted some ice cream. it took about five minutes to communicate that i was a journalist, and that i didn't want any ice cream. then he pointed at scott and asked me what his profession was.
me: he's a general surgeon.
drunk: oh, another journalist.
me: no, a surgeon.
drunk: ah, a soldier.
me: no, he's a doctor.
drunk: he was adpoted?
by now i am speaking directly in his ear, as loudly as i can without doing permanent damage. we finally make communication contact.
drunk: oh, a doctor! what's his specialty?
me: surgery.
drunk: ah, here we call them surgeons. for shorthand.
a few nights ago we were at a particularly drunken meeting and i was approached several times by the same man, asking me what my profession was and wondering if i wanted some ice cream. it took about five minutes to communicate that i was a journalist, and that i didn't want any ice cream. then he pointed at scott and asked me what his profession was.
me: he's a general surgeon.
drunk: oh, another journalist.
me: no, a surgeon.
drunk: ah, a soldier.
me: no, he's a doctor.
drunk: he was adpoted?
by now i am speaking directly in his ear, as loudly as i can without doing permanent damage. we finally make communication contact.
drunk: oh, a doctor! what's his specialty?
me: surgery.
drunk: ah, here we call them surgeons. for shorthand.
Monday, January 21, 2008
you are becoming accustomed to our ways, no?
i would like to say a few words about indian standard time, which basically means that nothing ever starts when anyone says it will. this is something we should know by now, but it still catches us off guard. our departure from alleppey a few days ago is a perfect example.
from alleppey, we were driving to a city called kottayam, about one and a half hours away. we were meant to arrive in kottayam at 11a.m., and we were all meant to meet up for breakfast the morning of our departure. so, scott recommended that we meet for breakfast at 8:30a.m., leave by 9:30a.m., and arrive in kottayam at 11a.m., as per the schedule. here is the exchange that followed between scott and sarjan nair, the coordinator of our activities in alleppey.
sarjan: 8:30 is not practical, too early. maybe nine or 9:30 instead.
scott: i thought we were supposed to arrive in kottayam at 11.
sarjan: yes, so we meet at nine, you finish your breakfast by 10 and then depart.
scott: leave at 10, drive one and a half hours and arrive in kottayam at 11?
sarjan: of course not. you won't arrive until at least 11:30.
confused silence.
sarjan: you have become accustomed to our ways, no?
and of course, we didn't leave anywhere near 10a.m. and didn't arrive in kottayam until a little after noon. upon arriving, we discovered that we weren't meant to be in kottayam at all, but another city farther away, where we didn't arrive until just after 1p.m. the rotarians in that city had their hearts set on taking us up in the mountains to have lunch at a hill station, where we didn't arrive until three.
it was really nice to be up in the mountains, though, and a hike through a pine forest reminded us all of home. until we came upon some cows. on the way back down from the hill station we stopped at a monastery, where we were told we could only stay for 10 or 15 minutes and didn't leave until almost an hour later.
and then, the indian standard time kicker, on the way home from the monastery, with time slipping away and everyone worried that people would start leaving the meeting before we arrived, we stop at the summer mountain home of one of the rotarians. just 10 minutes, they tell us. enough time to use the western toilet and take in the view. at 10 minutes almost to the second, as i am picking up my bag, ready to leave, the host opens up a bunch of bottles of brandy! and we just burst out laughing. about half an hour later, tipsy rotarians in tow, we finally headed off the mountain.
when we arrived at the meeting people had, in fact, left. the president's excuse for our tardiness?
"the team was held up in alleppey and didn't arrive here until 1p.m."
we are now in kottayam and melissa and i are staying with mohen and his wife, zahira, in a gorgeous house with high ceilings, a real shower and hot water. we had a contest to see who could give the shortest presentation at last night's rotary meeting (i won with less than a minute) and today we slept in and will leave in a few minutes for lunch and relaxation at the local sailing club. a perfect day.
here are a few more pictures. if you can believe it, we came upon yet another elephant yesterday, as you can see below.
pilgrim with the massive cheek piercing i was telling you about earlier.
one view from the alleppey houseboat.
local villagers carrying milk to the hilltop monastery.
another day, another elephant.
from alleppey, we were driving to a city called kottayam, about one and a half hours away. we were meant to arrive in kottayam at 11a.m., and we were all meant to meet up for breakfast the morning of our departure. so, scott recommended that we meet for breakfast at 8:30a.m., leave by 9:30a.m., and arrive in kottayam at 11a.m., as per the schedule. here is the exchange that followed between scott and sarjan nair, the coordinator of our activities in alleppey.
sarjan: 8:30 is not practical, too early. maybe nine or 9:30 instead.
scott: i thought we were supposed to arrive in kottayam at 11.
sarjan: yes, so we meet at nine, you finish your breakfast by 10 and then depart.
scott: leave at 10, drive one and a half hours and arrive in kottayam at 11?
sarjan: of course not. you won't arrive until at least 11:30.
confused silence.
sarjan: you have become accustomed to our ways, no?
and of course, we didn't leave anywhere near 10a.m. and didn't arrive in kottayam until a little after noon. upon arriving, we discovered that we weren't meant to be in kottayam at all, but another city farther away, where we didn't arrive until just after 1p.m. the rotarians in that city had their hearts set on taking us up in the mountains to have lunch at a hill station, where we didn't arrive until three.
it was really nice to be up in the mountains, though, and a hike through a pine forest reminded us all of home. until we came upon some cows. on the way back down from the hill station we stopped at a monastery, where we were told we could only stay for 10 or 15 minutes and didn't leave until almost an hour later.
and then, the indian standard time kicker, on the way home from the monastery, with time slipping away and everyone worried that people would start leaving the meeting before we arrived, we stop at the summer mountain home of one of the rotarians. just 10 minutes, they tell us. enough time to use the western toilet and take in the view. at 10 minutes almost to the second, as i am picking up my bag, ready to leave, the host opens up a bunch of bottles of brandy! and we just burst out laughing. about half an hour later, tipsy rotarians in tow, we finally headed off the mountain.
when we arrived at the meeting people had, in fact, left. the president's excuse for our tardiness?
"the team was held up in alleppey and didn't arrive here until 1p.m."
we are now in kottayam and melissa and i are staying with mohen and his wife, zahira, in a gorgeous house with high ceilings, a real shower and hot water. we had a contest to see who could give the shortest presentation at last night's rotary meeting (i won with less than a minute) and today we slept in and will leave in a few minutes for lunch and relaxation at the local sailing club. a perfect day.
here are a few more pictures. if you can believe it, we came upon yet another elephant yesterday, as you can see below.
pilgrim with the massive cheek piercing i was telling you about earlier.
one view from the alleppey houseboat.
local villagers carrying milk to the hilltop monastery.
another day, another elephant.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
how do you feel god's country?
a slightly frustrating day yesterday, involving many miscommunications, as well as non-communications, a lot of time in the van, headaches and several bad bathroom experiences was redeemed today with a trip through the famous backwaters of kerala on a traditional indian houseboat.
these houseboats are carved from wood and held together with a coconut husk material called coir (chances are you have a doormat made out of it). they look sort of old school from the outside, but there are western toilets inside (a true christmas miracle), bedrooms and a kitchen. the front of the boat is like a deck, with a coir awning and chairs and tables, and the driver sits on a little stool at the front of the boat, holding an umbrella to shield himself from the sun, while he navigates with one of those ship wheels (do you know what i mean? do those have a name?). it was the most relaxing, wonderful, stress-free indian day, floating along, eating fresh pineapple and fish, soaking up the sun and making new friends. i think it was just what we needed. now i feel like i can honestly say kerala is god's country.
i would also like to add a caution to anyone listing hobbies for any sort of introductory purpose. we put together a little brochure about our team to hand out to rotary members we met here, and i made the grave mistake of listing "singing" as one of my hobbies. i have now performed "i'm a little teapot" in two rotary schools, "you are my sunshine" in the van at least three times, and "the star-spangled banner" at practically every rotary meeting we've attended (which is more than a few. the first time it happened we all sang together but i burst out laughing when scott aimed for the high notes. since then, melissa and i have been rocking a pretty decent harmony that seems to do the trick). today's boat ride turned into an impromptu sing-along with requests including "country road" by john denver (why indians know this song i have not a clue) and "another day in paradise" by phil collins, which i could not deliver. that did not deter one particularly adamant rotarian, however, from asking about 12 times if i could sing it (no joke) while singing the same off-key line over and over. finally i asked why he didn't just sing it and the subject was finally laid to rest. we did manage "adelweiss" and a few other songs from "the sound of music," "more than words" and "leaving on a jet plane." once they had a little whiskey and club soda in the veins, the club hosting us on the boat was more than willing to perform several traditional indian songs, complete with stomping, clapping and some suspect hand motions. it was one of the best days in india so far, marred only by the phil collins fan saying to me, "your voice is so melodious. but you need more practice." we're chalking that one up to miscommunciation as well.
we are also having a great time together as a team. with two weeks under our belts, the gloves have come off and we do a lot of laughing these days. when you are dealing with language and culture barriers all day every day there is a lot to laugh about, but i am not sure you would find it very funny. so i'll give you some pictures of our past few stops instead.
receiving a garland from the resident elephant at krishna puram temple in tirunelveli. i thought a wet spot on my shirt was from the fresh flowers but when it dried it was brown, so i'm guessing it was elephant snot instead. well worth it.
me at the very southern-most tip of all of india. not pictured: the swarms of unwashed pilgrims on the beach behind me.
an ancient chinese method of catching fish by net, still used here in kerala. the net is raised and lowered by several men using a massive v-shaped wooden lever.
fishing boats on the shores of another kerala beach, which was minorly affected by the tsunami. fishermen live in huts close by and leave their boats right on the shore.
palm trees in god's own country.
these houseboats are carved from wood and held together with a coconut husk material called coir (chances are you have a doormat made out of it). they look sort of old school from the outside, but there are western toilets inside (a true christmas miracle), bedrooms and a kitchen. the front of the boat is like a deck, with a coir awning and chairs and tables, and the driver sits on a little stool at the front of the boat, holding an umbrella to shield himself from the sun, while he navigates with one of those ship wheels (do you know what i mean? do those have a name?). it was the most relaxing, wonderful, stress-free indian day, floating along, eating fresh pineapple and fish, soaking up the sun and making new friends. i think it was just what we needed. now i feel like i can honestly say kerala is god's country.
i would also like to add a caution to anyone listing hobbies for any sort of introductory purpose. we put together a little brochure about our team to hand out to rotary members we met here, and i made the grave mistake of listing "singing" as one of my hobbies. i have now performed "i'm a little teapot" in two rotary schools, "you are my sunshine" in the van at least three times, and "the star-spangled banner" at practically every rotary meeting we've attended (which is more than a few. the first time it happened we all sang together but i burst out laughing when scott aimed for the high notes. since then, melissa and i have been rocking a pretty decent harmony that seems to do the trick). today's boat ride turned into an impromptu sing-along with requests including "country road" by john denver (why indians know this song i have not a clue) and "another day in paradise" by phil collins, which i could not deliver. that did not deter one particularly adamant rotarian, however, from asking about 12 times if i could sing it (no joke) while singing the same off-key line over and over. finally i asked why he didn't just sing it and the subject was finally laid to rest. we did manage "adelweiss" and a few other songs from "the sound of music," "more than words" and "leaving on a jet plane." once they had a little whiskey and club soda in the veins, the club hosting us on the boat was more than willing to perform several traditional indian songs, complete with stomping, clapping and some suspect hand motions. it was one of the best days in india so far, marred only by the phil collins fan saying to me, "your voice is so melodious. but you need more practice." we're chalking that one up to miscommunciation as well.
we are also having a great time together as a team. with two weeks under our belts, the gloves have come off and we do a lot of laughing these days. when you are dealing with language and culture barriers all day every day there is a lot to laugh about, but i am not sure you would find it very funny. so i'll give you some pictures of our past few stops instead.
receiving a garland from the resident elephant at krishna puram temple in tirunelveli. i thought a wet spot on my shirt was from the fresh flowers but when it dried it was brown, so i'm guessing it was elephant snot instead. well worth it.
me at the very southern-most tip of all of india. not pictured: the swarms of unwashed pilgrims on the beach behind me.
an ancient chinese method of catching fish by net, still used here in kerala. the net is raised and lowered by several men using a massive v-shaped wooden lever.
fishing boats on the shores of another kerala beach, which was minorly affected by the tsunami. fishermen live in huts close by and leave their boats right on the shore.
palm trees in god's own country.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
you can't be any trouble in kerala
greetings from kerala! also known in india as god's own country. we arrived after a seven hour van trip, which went by surprisingly quickly, and we'll be here in alleppey (god's own town) through saturday. ruby and i are staying with a christian family, thomas, his wife mali (or molly, we are unclear on this), their son and daughter-in-law, sheba (or something like that). alleppey is on the beach and is the gate to the famous backwaters of kerala; it sounds like we'll spend saturday on a houseboat, complete with a floating rotary meeting. we present at a rotary meeting pretty much every night (it's getting old), but we've never done one on a boat, so it will be a nice change of pace.
there seems to be a different sort of atmosphere in kerala, though we haven't quite been able to put our finger on it yet. the social climate seems more open. people in tamil nadu warned is that the men in kerala drink more, so we should watch our purses and our backsides, but i am not sure that's the difference we are noticing. so far i think it's been easier to interact with the men here, though that might come back to bite us (hopefully not literally). i guess for now i'll say that things are much less formal here. we even listened to some indi-pop in the car.
pictures are still not working in any sort of manageable time frame, but here are some highlights of the last few days.
first, i never posted about my newspaper visit in tirunelveli, now two towns ago. the city has three local language papers and i visited the largest. being a local language paper, there was definitely a communication barrier between me and the employees, but i got some good information. they put out a daily with only three full-time reporters and 60 "news correspondents" who submit handwritten stories with hard-copy photographs stapled to them. quite a different operation. i get the sense that papers here have much less enterprise-style reporting, and lack interviews in general. it sounds like a lot of information comes from the same sources without much variety or verification. this paper also had on-site printing facilities, which i was allowed to tour, and the general manager asked for my autograph. a lovely visit.
yesterday in nagercoil was a massively full day, but well worth the fatigue. the coast on which nagercoil sits (southeast) was the only portion of india affected by the tsunami of a few years back. the local rotary clubs built 43 brand-new houses and moved in some affected families and we were able to tour the compound. we were totally mobbed by children and even adults got all giggly when we shook their hands. the houses are free, but residents pay for utilities and upkeep themselves. most of them are fisherman and still fish, though it is now required that they live a certain distance from the beach. we visited some of the worst hit beach sites as well. one of them was crammed with tourists who ran out to collect fish and sea shells when the tide suddenly receded right before the tsunami hit. one of the rotarians with us said the beach was completely deserted for a year after the tsunami, and fewer people go there than before, even now. it is sobering to think that everything you have ever had and known could be gone in minutes.
we also visited a program called the center for social reconstruction, basically an AIDS awareness program targeting HIV-positive women and children, and educating commercial sex workers. as i am sure you can imagine, the local rotary clubs are involved in that project as well. workers train prostitutes to educate eachother about how to keep themselves and their clients safe from disease. the center also runs an awareness program for the family and neighbors of HIV positive people. there is still a major social stigma in india about HIV and the way it is transmitted, and most openly HIV-positive patients are forced to stay in their homes with no outside contact of any kind. patients themselves are often just as confused about their condition and what it means. the program sends workers to HIV-positive individuals' homes, to educate their friends and family about what the disease really is and what it means. we met with several clients of the program who told us stories of how their lives were changed, first for the worse and then for the better, thanks to the program. all of them contracted HIV from their husbands, which just makes me ill. but, i didn't leave depressed. it was an emotional experience, to be sure (we all cried), but i left feeling like we are on the right path. scott, our team leader, pointed out that it wasn't too long ago the indian government denied there was any HIV in the country at all. to have programs addressing the problem head-on in such a successful way is a major step forward and i found it very heartening.
and that is the last few days in india in a nut shell.
with just as much behind us as ahead, i have to say that this experience is everything and nothing like i thought it would be. in all honesty, i am having difficulty processing the whole thing. i think it will come piece by piece. i hope it will at least. i am interested to see more clearly how kerala is different from tamil nadu. kerala has the first freely elected communist government in the world, and the highest literacy rate in all of india. but my host's son was just telling me this evening that those model elements come along with some social problems, including a high suicide rate and a less than reliable press. so, as always, there is much more to come! (and hopefully some pictures, too.)
there seems to be a different sort of atmosphere in kerala, though we haven't quite been able to put our finger on it yet. the social climate seems more open. people in tamil nadu warned is that the men in kerala drink more, so we should watch our purses and our backsides, but i am not sure that's the difference we are noticing. so far i think it's been easier to interact with the men here, though that might come back to bite us (hopefully not literally). i guess for now i'll say that things are much less formal here. we even listened to some indi-pop in the car.
pictures are still not working in any sort of manageable time frame, but here are some highlights of the last few days.
first, i never posted about my newspaper visit in tirunelveli, now two towns ago. the city has three local language papers and i visited the largest. being a local language paper, there was definitely a communication barrier between me and the employees, but i got some good information. they put out a daily with only three full-time reporters and 60 "news correspondents" who submit handwritten stories with hard-copy photographs stapled to them. quite a different operation. i get the sense that papers here have much less enterprise-style reporting, and lack interviews in general. it sounds like a lot of information comes from the same sources without much variety or verification. this paper also had on-site printing facilities, which i was allowed to tour, and the general manager asked for my autograph. a lovely visit.
yesterday in nagercoil was a massively full day, but well worth the fatigue. the coast on which nagercoil sits (southeast) was the only portion of india affected by the tsunami of a few years back. the local rotary clubs built 43 brand-new houses and moved in some affected families and we were able to tour the compound. we were totally mobbed by children and even adults got all giggly when we shook their hands. the houses are free, but residents pay for utilities and upkeep themselves. most of them are fisherman and still fish, though it is now required that they live a certain distance from the beach. we visited some of the worst hit beach sites as well. one of them was crammed with tourists who ran out to collect fish and sea shells when the tide suddenly receded right before the tsunami hit. one of the rotarians with us said the beach was completely deserted for a year after the tsunami, and fewer people go there than before, even now. it is sobering to think that everything you have ever had and known could be gone in minutes.
we also visited a program called the center for social reconstruction, basically an AIDS awareness program targeting HIV-positive women and children, and educating commercial sex workers. as i am sure you can imagine, the local rotary clubs are involved in that project as well. workers train prostitutes to educate eachother about how to keep themselves and their clients safe from disease. the center also runs an awareness program for the family and neighbors of HIV positive people. there is still a major social stigma in india about HIV and the way it is transmitted, and most openly HIV-positive patients are forced to stay in their homes with no outside contact of any kind. patients themselves are often just as confused about their condition and what it means. the program sends workers to HIV-positive individuals' homes, to educate their friends and family about what the disease really is and what it means. we met with several clients of the program who told us stories of how their lives were changed, first for the worse and then for the better, thanks to the program. all of them contracted HIV from their husbands, which just makes me ill. but, i didn't leave depressed. it was an emotional experience, to be sure (we all cried), but i left feeling like we are on the right path. scott, our team leader, pointed out that it wasn't too long ago the indian government denied there was any HIV in the country at all. to have programs addressing the problem head-on in such a successful way is a major step forward and i found it very heartening.
and that is the last few days in india in a nut shell.
with just as much behind us as ahead, i have to say that this experience is everything and nothing like i thought it would be. in all honesty, i am having difficulty processing the whole thing. i think it will come piece by piece. i hope it will at least. i am interested to see more clearly how kerala is different from tamil nadu. kerala has the first freely elected communist government in the world, and the highest literacy rate in all of india. but my host's son was just telling me this evening that those model elements come along with some social problems, including a high suicide rate and a less than reliable press. so, as always, there is much more to come! (and hopefully some pictures, too.)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
"you look damn tired" (it's a quote so i'm allowed)
hello from nagercoil, our last stop before we head to the neighboring state of kerala. we have also passed the official half-way mark and, in a word, i am exhausted. i think no matter how long you are away from home, you hit a wall somewhere, and mine seems to have come. i would love to be able to drink tap water, sleep in my own (soft) bed, leave the house without bug repellent and take a hot shower standing straight up instead of crouched under a faucet. but, such is life in india. i am exhausted, but i am still very glad to be here.
my hosts in nagercoil are kumar and his wife, nadda, and i am their first foreign guest. kumar owns a coconut oil manufacturing facility, which is actually right next door to the house. he took me over last night to see some of the operations, which were completely fascinating. i had never seen anything like it. he dries the coconut for seven days and then it's crushed and filtered and sent in tins, mostly to soap manufacturers. kumar can tell just by looking at the skin of a coconut exactly how much oil it will produce. pretty amazing. his daughter and granddaughter are also staying here, as it is a festival week called pongal. the granddaughter calls me "auntie."
on our way to nagercoil we stopped in kayakumari and walked to the southern most tip of india, along with swarms of pilgrims on their way home from a nearby temple. they have been fasting from meat, alcohol and sex for 40 days, and we think a personal hygiene fast might have been part of the deal as well. we were jostled all the way down and back and someone called me "pebbles" (we're still trying to figure that out). we also visited a circular fort and a rock where a saint, vivekanada, is thought to have once meditated. the ferry ride out to the rock was harrowing, to say the least. all i could think of was a game of taboo i once played where kathryn helmke tried to get us to guess the word "ferry" using the clue, "sometimes these sink in india."
there are lots more things to say about our last days in tirunelveli, but time is short, so i want to end with this. while i was in tirunelveli i spent some time with a rotarian named gokul. i asked him how he felt about the increasing western influence in india and he said the following, "india needs to adapt, but not change." that is the best i have heard anyone put it yet. the longer i am in india, the more i think that this is really india's time. every country and place has gone through some kind of revolution to secure its place in the world, and i think that is exactly what is happening to india now. we need india and we need the things india can teach us. but india can't teach us anything if india changes. one thing that impresses me about this country is the balance between doing what needs to be done to succeed and improve on a global scale, while maintaining traditions and customs that make india so special and unique. and i think the same thing can be said of us as individuals. i think i spent a lot of my life feeling like i needed to change in order to fit in and be accepted in the way i wanted to be. but really, we need to adapt, not change. we need to improve our situations, professional, personal, emotional, as much as we can, while still maintaining those pieces of ourselves that make us who we are. before i came to india i said this trip was going to change my life. and i have been waiting for india to change me. but now i think maybe that's not the purpose. instead, maybe india can teach me how to stay myself.
my hosts in nagercoil are kumar and his wife, nadda, and i am their first foreign guest. kumar owns a coconut oil manufacturing facility, which is actually right next door to the house. he took me over last night to see some of the operations, which were completely fascinating. i had never seen anything like it. he dries the coconut for seven days and then it's crushed and filtered and sent in tins, mostly to soap manufacturers. kumar can tell just by looking at the skin of a coconut exactly how much oil it will produce. pretty amazing. his daughter and granddaughter are also staying here, as it is a festival week called pongal. the granddaughter calls me "auntie."
on our way to nagercoil we stopped in kayakumari and walked to the southern most tip of india, along with swarms of pilgrims on their way home from a nearby temple. they have been fasting from meat, alcohol and sex for 40 days, and we think a personal hygiene fast might have been part of the deal as well. we were jostled all the way down and back and someone called me "pebbles" (we're still trying to figure that out). we also visited a circular fort and a rock where a saint, vivekanada, is thought to have once meditated. the ferry ride out to the rock was harrowing, to say the least. all i could think of was a game of taboo i once played where kathryn helmke tried to get us to guess the word "ferry" using the clue, "sometimes these sink in india."
there are lots more things to say about our last days in tirunelveli, but time is short, so i want to end with this. while i was in tirunelveli i spent some time with a rotarian named gokul. i asked him how he felt about the increasing western influence in india and he said the following, "india needs to adapt, but not change." that is the best i have heard anyone put it yet. the longer i am in india, the more i think that this is really india's time. every country and place has gone through some kind of revolution to secure its place in the world, and i think that is exactly what is happening to india now. we need india and we need the things india can teach us. but india can't teach us anything if india changes. one thing that impresses me about this country is the balance between doing what needs to be done to succeed and improve on a global scale, while maintaining traditions and customs that make india so special and unique. and i think the same thing can be said of us as individuals. i think i spent a lot of my life feeling like i needed to change in order to fit in and be accepted in the way i wanted to be. but really, we need to adapt, not change. we need to improve our situations, professional, personal, emotional, as much as we can, while still maintaining those pieces of ourselves that make us who we are. before i came to india i said this trip was going to change my life. and i have been waiting for india to change me. but now i think maybe that's not the purpose. instead, maybe india can teach me how to stay myself.
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