Wednesday, January 6, 2010

a book by its cover

one time, my friend joel went on a rant about how people always say, "i am going to sushi," when in fact they are not "going to sushi," sushi being neither a verb nor a place, but rather going to eat sushi, and there is something about sushi that seems to invite this phenomenon when other food types do not. i mean, think about it. when is the last time you heard someone say, "i am going to lasagna." never, would be my guess.

so, it is with joel in mind that i tell you last night i went out for sushi with miss angela. it is important for you to understand that miss angela did not think she would like sushi. but then she tried it, and she did. and it is also important for you to understand that i did not think i would like miss angela. but then i tried her, and i did. i really did. (and don't worry, it's ok for me to put this on the internet because i already told her to her face. and that's my rule.)

to use angela's words themselves: "i don't look how i am."

indeed, you think you are getting one thing when in fact you are getting quite another, and i mean that in the best possible way.

(might i also add, goal #23, check.)

and so the old adage that we should not judge a book by its cover is proven (proved?) true once again. and once again i have been shamed for jumping too quickly to easy conclusions. the good news is, while i proved myself to be somewhat judgemental, i think i also proved myself willing to move past my first impressions. i discovered the error of my ways sooner rather than later, and that is is certainly a step in the right direction.
(and i will say here that i think it is in large part to goal #23, which i have always believed in, even when my dad said that making something unexpected a goal sort of takes the "unexpected" out of it. be that as it may, here we are.)

that said, though, i hope that i never have to write a post like this again.

though, on the other hand, there is something infinitely more exciting and fulfilling about finding a friend where you didn't think you would find one.

and, while i am just rambling on, i am going to go ahead and dump this can of worms right out. the fact of the matter is that we are all books with covers, and we are all judged by them to some extent, and while some of our covers might match out contents better than others, a cover can never tell the whole story.
por (a lame) ejemplo, i am consistently mistaken for a mac user, which i am not. what is that about? the shorter hair? the glasses? the clothes i wear? the fact that i reference "30 rock" approximately 1,000 times in a day? i have no idea.

like i said, lame example, but, i guess what i am getting at is, what happened to me and miss angela happens to all of us in some measure.

and that seems like a shame.
i guess one solution is to make our outsides match our insides better. but if that does not feel comfortable and self-honest, then it seems like a shame, too.

unfortunately, i have run out of any further insight on the topic, so i am just going to have to leave it there, but i turn the floor to you for any additional wisdom.
do we need to reconcile our covers to our books? (and why is that our covers don't always match our books in the first place?) or is there a way to avoid judging people on the outside at first? or is the solution to recognize that our first impressions could be wrong and get over them as quickly as possible? why do people say, "going to sushi" but not "going to" anything else? and seriously, are macs so much better?


Natalie said...

I happen to have a lot of experience in judging people before I give them a chance. I don't know how to stop the judgement, but realizing it may be a hasty judgement and giving someone a chance always works for me. sometimes i'm right about the person, other times i'm surprised and i'm wrong. I'm glad i'm not the only one!

David's Holla Atchya! Blog said...

I just avoid initiating conversations. That way I can keep my judgements and never find out if they are true or not, which means I assume they are true. This sounds really shallow, conceited, and cruel. I hope I'm a friendly person.

steve said...

You seem like the kind of person who would like to "go sushi".

and btw - It's quite DANGEROUS to provoke mac users. feisty bunch of nerds they are.

Joan said...

I hear Liz say, when she explained why she was carrying around reading glasses that she didn't need,that it's a matter of vision--how we look at others that makes the difference. It's too bad we don't see each other as the superior wonder beings that each of us really is. God realizes when he looks at us that there really are no mere mortals among us. It's just hard for us to use that vision.

rae said...

In Jersey we say we're going "down the shore," which is kind of the same. Also, sushi is delicious.