actually speaking, life in india is good

we have left our new friends in sivakasi (my host mother, achu, put a lime under each tire of our van, which we crushed as we drove away, to ensure a safe journey) and have spent the past two days in tirunelveli (it means a city fenced by rice paddies), where we will be until tuesday morning.

we spent most of the day yesterday on (much needed) rest and relaxation, and then went to a school for a cultural program (those are pretty popular around here, it seems). the school was a swanky private one, financed by a trust set up by one of the founders of the largest fireworks manufacturer in sivakasi (so i guess some good things do come out of handling and selling deadly chemicals). we have almost hit the halfway mark of the trip and i think everyone is pretty wasted (colleen is rationing her ambien), so we crashed early. colleen and i are staying with janu, who exports sea shell crafts, and his wife, mira. they have four generations (his parents, his son and daughter-in-law and their children) living in the house, so it's pretty lively.

this morning we had a lovely, western breakfast and then went to two temples, one with very famous, old sculptures, and one that encompassesd 14 acres and is the largest temple in all of india. in all honesty, all the temples are starting to look the same, but we got an unexpected treat when we came upon an elephant, who draped us each with a garland (seriously, this elephant took garlands in her trunk and put them over our necks) and thenm blessed us, basically by blowing snot all over our heads. but, it was quite an honor. certainly something that will never happen again. and we can always take a shower.

we did a little shopping, took a rest, and then went to the source of a river for which the city is famous. all day along the road we have been seeing pilgrims walking, barefoot, to a temple to celebrate this month's harvest festival, called pongal. they walk barefoot for around 30 miles, which takes two days (they get to take the bus back home, thank goodness). some of them had these massive spears right through their cheeks (i have a picture but can't upload here, so you'll have to wait for proof). some of the spears were so long people had to walk on either side of the pierced person, holding up the ends. just a big spear, right through someone's face. it was amazing. people also clean and paint their homes for pongal, and build shrines of sugar cane stalks. we have seen women carrying massive bushels of stalks on their heads, and men with equally massive bushels strapped to the backs of bicycles and motorcycles. sometimes with children piled on as well. over-piling doesn't seem to be much of a concern here.

so, it has been a wonderful and relaxing stay so far. we have one more stop here, in the state of tamil nadu, and then we'll spend the rest of the month in neighboring kerala. we are still having the time-flies-but-it-feels-like-we've-been-here-for-ages phenomenon. really the only thing getting old is the food. the people are all interesting and different. janu and mira have a son in the u.s., so they have visited several times and it was fascinating to hear their opinions. mira said she is always lonely in the u.s. because, even though there are people everywhere, you almost never see their faces. as she put it, "it's just car, car, car." i think, in a lot of ways, she's right.

as i can't upload any photos at the moment, i thought i would just leave you with a few of my favorite quirks about india and indians. i still wish you could see them for yourselves, but hopefully this will give you an idea.

1. the head bob. indians do this strange head motion that looks like they are shaking "no" but it really means that everything is ok. it involves moving the head back and forth, in a sort of lazy circular motion. they do it a lot after they've taken a picture to indicate that everything went well, but i still always think it means something went wrong.

2. funny english. this is probably universal, but i have some indian favorites, in particular the use of basically. people ask me a lot, "basically, what is your profession?" similar is the use of "actually speaking." for example, "actually speaking, i am a doctor." or, "actually speaking, this is the largest temple in india." another one is, "no less," as in, "the owner of the factory is no less than right here," or, "he is no less than my cousin." and, i get called ma'am and madam a lot, which i could get used to.

3. the warmness. when we went to the school last night, one of the teachers took me right by the hand and led me to my seat. people are always doing our laundry, buying us food and drinks, spending time with us doing things i am sure are less than interesting (or perhaps i should so,"no less than interesting." and, this could also apply to the gorgeous weather we've been enjoying. i will be sad to leave that.

4. the openness. this applies to people, but also to space. when we do get a chance to get out of the van and walk around, i love it. nothing is closed here. classrooms don't have windows or doors, homes have gardens right in the middle of them. i feel so much closer and connected to the environment surrounding me, and i think it is a good thing.

there also seems to be a larger amount of moralizing, at least among rotarians, which can be illustrated with the following story. in one of the clubs we visited in sivakasi, a rotarian got up to give a thought of the day. it involved a man who jumped out the window to his death after learning his wife, we'll call her anna, and two sons had passed away. as he passed the 10th floor, he remembered his wife was not named anna. as he passed the seventh floor, he remembered he didn't have any sons. just before he hit the ground he remembered he wasn't, in fact, married at all. but by then it was too late, and he died in a pool of blood. the moral? don't make decisions based on emotion. the response of the president? "thank you for that thought, rotarian."