apples to apples

a couple of weeks ago AWD and i went to see a limited run screening of some footage of a television interview with steve jobs that had been filmed in 1995. in what has to be one of the greatest and most lucrative coincidences of all time, the footage, which was thought to be lost forever, was rediscovered in the producer's garage a few days after steve jobs died.

the interview was taped just before jobs returned to apple, though he, of course, didn't know at the time that that would happen. in fact, when he's asked about apple in the interview, he says he thinks the company is doomed and can't be saved.

so, turns out he wasn't always right about everything.

we were a little nervous that 50 minutes of steve jobs talking into a camera might be kind of dull, but it wasn't. it was wild to see him with all that hair and a full, chubby face. and he was still wearing black mock turtlenecks back in 1995. he was insightful (except for that thing about apple being beyond saving) and well-spoken, as you might imagine, and he said a couple things that really stuck with me.

1. little things can do big things. one of steve's first forays into the computer world was developing a box that could mimic long-distance dial tones so you could trick the telephone switchboard system and make long-distance calls for free. it was just a small contraption, but it could manipulate the whole big national and eventually international telephone system. it was a little thing that could do something big. i'd like to think of myself and my own efforts in that same way more often.

2. the product is more important than the process. according to jobs, it was a failure to recognize this that threatened to bring apple down in the 1990s. people thought that if you were following the process, sticking with the system, then the product had to be good. but they weren't paying any attention to the product and so the product sucked. i think it's really easy to get bogged down in procedural details that are not important, or to hide behind systems and processes and programs because they excuse you from courageous, creative thinking. i am sure i do it all the time. but i'd like to learn to worry more about what i want to do then whether i am doing it "right."

3. not as many things are as impossible as you think. well, he didn't actually say this, but this idea stuck with me anyway. it was so fascinating to me that steve jobs, right there on tape, said apple was heading down the tube and there was no way to bring it back. he thought there was no way to bring it back, he said there was no way to bring it back, and then he returned to apple and brought it back. he accomplished what he, himself, had stated was impossible. i think that is totally rad. and i don't think i am alone in saying that, if he had to be wrong about something, i am glad he was wrong about that.

are you my mother?

today i read a story about a toddler who calls his dad's iPhone "mama." i thought it was sort of charming and endearing and completely relatable.

and then i wondered what was wrong with me.

seriously, though, i probably love my iPhone almost as much as i love my mom and dad (almost) and i definitely love it more than i love some other people i know.

so what? am i setting myself up to my a slave to technology and a victim of the eventual apocalypse that is sure to come when all our smart gadgets turn against us? (because they are so much smarter than us.)

maybe.

but in the meantime i will never be lost or bad at scrabble or behind on celebrity gossip. so it seems like a good trade-off to me.

guess who finally has internet at home?

the answer is: me!

and it was not without some effort, i will have you know. my original request for broadband service from verizon was denied for reasons that still remain unclear to everyone, including the very lovely woman at the central office who finally offered me fios service for (almost) the same price as broadband and, with my indignant consumer fire burning out, i agreed.

fios, in case you don't know, requires the stringing of wires and the drilling of holes in walls for the placement of battery back-up packs, all of which, when combined with massive street repaving, will make you feel like your house might just give up and cave in. the installation of fios is also an incredibly long process, during which you can quite easily bake a cake, whip up some buttercream frosting, frost the cake and make a batch of homemade strawberry ice cream.

all worth it, though, because now i can sit with delilah in my living room and watch "30 rock" on netflix streaming, and i can also tell you about the most amazing book i just finished called "the genius factory" by david plotz, which recounts the history of the nobel prize sperm bank. if you are worried about the genetic degradation of the human race, then you have a lot in common with the nobel prize sperm bank founder, who figured the best way to save humanity from itself was to only allow smart and wonderful people to reproduce. things didn't go exactly according to his plan, but things did yield a truly fascinating book, which i highly recommend to every single person reading this post right now.

and, while i was in the sperm donation zone (figuratively, of course), i decided that we should go see "the kids are all right," which was pretty good but not as good as i wanted it to be. mark ruffalo was just as rugged and charming as i wanted him to be though, so win there.

in other news, i am counting down the days until my week-long beach vacation starts on saturday. i have a wide-brimmed hat and a darling new bathing suit and plenty of books and also plenty of exhaustion to take care of, so i think it should be a successful outing.

but, fear not my little band. armed with my new fios, i'll try to keep you entertained until then.

i like them apples

there is an important new member of my gadget family, and i feel i have been most remiss in introducing her properly. a situation i intend to remedy right now.

i am speaking, of course, of my new iphone.

her name is isadora, though you may call her izzie for short.

as a fearful late adopter of technology, making the switch to an iphone was not something i took lightly. but now that i have finally taken the plunge, i have to say that my life is approximately 250 times better. and i have only scratched the surface of what isadora can do.

for one thing, i feel more awesome now that i have isadora, even if she's just sitting on my nightstand. just knowing she's there automatically increases my cool person cred. in my own mind, at least.

also, my whole cell-phone-owning life i have despised text messaging. truly. i was slow and always misspelling things and it made me so cranky every time. but now, i could text all day long! i am super fast with my pointer finger and that little touch screen (five times faster than before, according to jaron) and i love the zooming noise my messages make when they are sent. zoom! and off they go!

but most importantly, isadora has just made my life a whole lot easier. i have all the information i could ever want right there at my (pointer) finger tips. i don't get lost anymore, i don't have to come home to my computer to look things up. restaurants, directions, addresses, phone numbers, movie times. even the scriptures. all in the palm of my hand. we are a totally self-sustaining unit, isadora and i.

i mean sure, she has her flaws. her battery life leaves something to be desired, and she seems to get bad reception inside the casa de bennett and keeps hanging up on my mom. but isadora has really given me a new bar for true love. when i love a man as much as i love her, i'll know it's the real deal.

apples to apples

check this out.

the other day (it was tuesday) i was telling someone about my master plan to buy an iphone.

(a plan, by the w, which is about to come to fruition. this is a big deal. i have thought long and hard and practically and analytically about the switcheroo and i feel very confident in my decision. like, probably more confident than i feel about a lot of my decisions. not to mention my head might explode at the prospect of celebrity gossip at my fingertips at all times!)

anyway, back to tuesday. this someone told me i should hold off because, the word on the street was that the next day (that would be wednesday), apple was going to unveil a tablet computer and i might want that instead.

i told him he was probably wrong.

but in a nice way of course.

(because tablet computers. what is the point? more on this soon.)

then later that night (it was still tuesday) jaron and i were eating indian food that was way too spicy (for me) when his roommate came bounding into the kitchen and said we were never going to believe it but big news! apple was going to unveil a tablet computer tomorrow! (that would be wednesday.)

and i said, tell me something i don't know, buddy. and it felt totally awesome because i never know about stuff like this before people who actually care about stuff like this, but this time i did. (which actually makes me think it wasn't so much big, secret news at all.)

and then apple did unveil a tablet computer on wednesday (which was, that's right, yesterday).

and they named it... the iPad?

worst.name.ever.

i mean, i don't think i need to articulate what that name makes just about everyone think of. especially not when this madTV clip does it so well. (warning: that clip definitely references the vajayjay.)

seriously. are there no women on the apple marketing team?

and now i'll just go ahead and ask the big question, which is: what is the point of a tablet computer anyway? do we really need something between a laptop and a phone? really?

my current answer is no, but i also said i would never need an iphone (i mean who wants to be connected to the internet all the time?) (i do, i do!) so i'm probably wrong about the iPad, too.

though i am definitely not wrong about the name. awful now and awful forever. and that's all i have to say about that.

the webs the wide world weaves

my dad just joined facebook.

and, contrary to my firmly held belief, the universe did not implode. at least not that i have noticed yet.

it has taken me a while, but i think i have finally embraced the inter-connectedness that is the inter-net. sure, it seems a little weird to be cyber-friends with my landlord, who is also my uncle, in addition to being my elected representative (the mind boggles). but, this is the new millenium!

right?

and sure, i find it a little strange to have my old roommates and my parents and my co-workers and my cousins and my parents' cousins all in the same virtual pot, sort of like i am messing with the natural social order and will have to pay for it some day. but all the kids are doing it!

right?

i do believe the internet has forever changed the way we relate to one another, and i have to wonder if it will eventually do more harm than good, (would you rather be with your computer than a real person sometimes? me too. not good.), but for now the universe seems in tact, and i am starting to really dig the complex web that is the world wide web.

plus, my dad already has 16 internet friends.

what a stud.

i love technology, but not as much as you, you see

my late adoption of all things technological has been most marked in my complete avoidance of the online social networking world. myspace? nope. facebook? i don't think so. ldslinkup? no thanks. this shunning of the virtual world was born mostly from a healthy sense of moral superiority (i am strong and can resist!) but also, truthfully, from a total fear of the online world. i have enough trouble managing my actual 3D life... trying to keep track of a life that exists on my computer seemed like too great a challenge. not to mention my unhealthy fears of identity theft and being instantly accessible to everyone on the planet. (i should add, however, that i was not above secretly signing on under other people's online identities to do, um, research on people i know.) anywho, i was increasingly behind the game for party invitations and wedding announcements, among other things, because of my absence from the interweb, and literally everyone i know had hopped on the wagon. so yesterday, i snapped. the reason still remains unclear. maybe i was emboldened by my step into the blogosphere. maybe there were too many invitations to join to ignore. maybe the stars aligned and it was just time. but, i did it. i joined facebook! and i am now totally overwhelmed. walls, hatching eggs, my status, a whole new inbox to manage... it is going to be a chore to take it all in. luckily, my incredibly techo-savvy friend, em, is going to show me the ropes. (maybe i should give her a title. like my online manager or something. i am going to think on this.)

anyway, the important thing is, i did it for you! so i could keep in touch with all my friends, near and far, and be in the technology loop forevermore. so, come and find me on facebook. i only have one rule. we still have to be friends in the real world, too.